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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»Helping your teen to thrive beyond overwhelm
Parenting Articles

Helping your teen to thrive beyond overwhelm

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By Yasodhara Romero Fernandes

It’s no secret that teens are feeling the combined pressure of educational achievement and social inclusion. In fact, a recent OECD survey of more than half a million teens in 72 countries revealed that high school students all over the world are struggling and feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, according to the same report, teens are more able to cope if they have a connection with, and the support of, parents, teachers and adult mentors.

So how do we, the adults in the lives of teens, support and empower them?

As someone who also struggled in my teens with being different, I know first hand the experience of constantly feeling wrong and not capable of doing what was expected the way it was expected. I also recall that the adults who contributed positively to me were those who acknowledged that I had something to offer and encouraged me to explore and share it. When I became a teacher myself, I asked, “What can I be and do to bring each person’s curiosity, creativity and capacities out to play?”

Rather than teach in a one-way manner, I became curious about my students and what they knew. By taking a different angle and asking some different questions, I was surprised at how quickly students became more engaged and empowered in class and in life.

Here are three questions I invite you to ask your teens to empower them to come out of doubt, struggle or overwhelm and begin to thrive:

‘What am I capable of that I have never considered?’

Teens that experience overwhelm are actually highly aware people. They are hyper-attuned to the judgments and expectations of others around them. They see their value as based upon doing ‘right’ and avoiding getting it ‘wrong,’ according to those expectations and can fall into the trap of thinking they are not capable or valuable, if they don’t align or adhere exactly.

If your teen is struggling in a mindset of, ‘Why can’t I be or do x,y,z?’, invite them to ask, ‘What am I capable of that I’ve never considered?’ instead.

When kids are encouraged to value themselves and discover what they are capable of that is different, rather than focus on what someone else has decided is right, good and correct, most will achieve far more than thought they could.

‘What is right about me that I am not getting?’

Constant self-judgment is a quick doorway into overwhelm and struggle. Judgment makes you contract into yourself and see yourself as less than you actually are. What if you could invite your teen to eliminate self-judgment and begin to see what is right about them instead? When you notice them wallowing in self-criticism or wondering, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ encourage them to ask: ‘What is right about me I am not getting?’ It will open a door to begin empowering them to see the greatness of who they are, instead of trying to achieve a perfect version of them, that is built upon external ideas of who and how they should be.

‘Who does it belong to?’

Most of us are never taught to question where our self-judgments come from when, in truth, most of the judgments we have of ourselves are points of view we learned or picked up from others. Highly aware teens can mistakenly buy into the judgments they pick up on and never question their validity or relevance; they just assume that because they are aware of it, it must belong to them! But what if they don’t? When your teen is anxious, upset or overwhelmed, ask, ‘Who does it belong to? Is it yours or someone else’s?’

This question allows them to recognise if they are in fact picking up on the opinions, emotions and upsets from their peers or friends, or elsewhere. How much of the overwhelm your teen is currently experiencing belongs to the people around them and that is why they can’t change it – because it’s not theirs to deal with in the first place? When they acknowledge that they’re just aware of what is going on for others, it empowers them to know that they don’t have to buy into it or take it on for themselves if they don’t want to.

What if your teen is the truly capable one, and overwhelm is just a level of awareness, creativity and capacity they haven’t acknowledged? As the adults in their lives, the greatest gift we can give them are the questions (and not the answers) that empower them to consider what they know and move themselves out of judgement and overwhelm and into joy and fulfilment.


Yasodhara Romero Fernandes is a professional performer, vocal coach, performance and communications expert, bodyworker, former teacher and certified Access Consciousness & Right Voice for You facilitator.

www.accessconsciousness.com/en/public-profiles/yasodhara-romero-fernandes

www.rigthtvoiceforyou.com

Peninsula Kids – Summer 2018/19

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LEGO Star Wars™ Chopper (C1-10P) Astromech Droid Suitable for 10+ – Create a playful display featuring a lovable astromech droid Chopper (C1-10P) with this LEGO® Star Wars™ buildable model kit with a buildable figure of Chopper, as seen in Star Wars: Ahsoka™. Move the lever on his back to remotely activate his iconic head movements, pose his arms and legs, fold out a tool from his chest, and more. Choppers arms and his center wheel are detachable so he can be displayed as if his arms and wheel have been retracted into his body. Suitable for 10+. RRP: $179.99 https://www.lego.com/en-au **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE VIA LINK IN BIO
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Little Jellies Swimwear Assorted – Size 4 Bright. Bold. Bursting with personality. Little Jellies is the new Australian swimwear label on a mission to make water play safer and more joyful for little ones and a little less stressful for parents. The brand is redefining safety-focused swimwear for safe, active summers. Little Jellies caters to children aged 6 months to 6 years. The collection includes baby swimwear, rashies, sun tops, surf suits, mix-and-match separates, and bucket hats—each made with a snug-but-stretchy fit, UPF50+ sun protection, and quick-dry technology. https://www.littlejellies.com.au/ @little.jellies.swim We have a Long sleeve rash shirt in pink, briefs in purple, and yellow surfsuit all size 4 to give away valued at $139.85 **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE VIA LINK IN BIO
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Get your skates on (or hire some of theirs) and get down to Sk8house in Carrum Downs for good old-fashioned family fun this school holidays. They’re OPEN EVERY DAY with General Sessions, Skate Classes and Birthday Parties, plus by popular demand, they’re also running Sensory Sessions every Friday morning! Find out more: https://www.sk8house.com.au/ @sk8houseau
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Kidhy – hydra helpa Say hello to hydra helpa; the debut product from kidhy, a new Australian brand on a mission to help solve the common challenge of getting kids to drink enough water. Scientifically formulated just for children, hydra helpa is an alternative to sugary drinks and adult electrolyte drinks. The delicious water infusions are packed with electrolytes for hydration, plus prebiotics and probiotics to support gut health. hydra helpa is available now in a three kid-approved flavours: Apple & Raspberry, Pineapple & Coconut and Orange & Passionfruit. RRP $49.95 for packs of 30 sachets. kidhy silicone drink bottles are also available for $29.95. hydra helpa + drink bottle bundles are available for $69.95. Available online at https://kidhy.com/ @kidhy.co **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LEGO Brick Like This! The LEGO® Group and Asmodee, a leading entertainment company specialising in tabletop games, have announced their second jointly-crafted board game. LEGO® Brick Like This! is a fun family party game where teams race to finish their LEGO® models. One teammate describes a LEGO® model while the other teammate builds it. Communication and collaboration are key in this fun and fast-talking LEGO® building party game! Work together in pairs to build your LEGO® model first! Can you build with your eyes closed? With one hand? How about talking without being able to say numbers or colors? No two games will be the same. Designed for ages 8+ (and perfect for creative adults too) and available from EB Games: RRP: $40.00. **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Need a super fun activity to keep the kids active and off screens these school holidays? Acro Kids full day programs in Mornington and Braeside are the ticket. Kids will learn wicked acro and parkour skills and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/ @acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Mambo Australia Family Pack The Ultimate Family Spring Giveaway with Mambo! From bold-printed suitcases and insulated lunch boxes to roomy backpacks, comfy sandals and playful sunnies, this capsule has everything the family needs for their next holiday. Designed for boys and girls, with the apparel ranging in sizes 7-16 and footwear available in sizes 13-6, perfect for packing light and dressing right from head to toe. The prize pack will include the following for the winning family: 2 x each – backpacks (kids), water bottles (kids), lunch boxes (kids), pencil cases (kids), overnight bags (adult), hats (adult), beanies (adult), stubby holders (adult) valued at over $300. Selected products available from Big W. @mamboaustralia **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Plonkit The Plonkit solves an age-old Aussie problem – where to safely and conveniently “plonk” down your belongings when you’re outside. Made from recyclable plexiglass materials, it easily and securely connects to a glass fence, providing a sturdy place to plonk down all the essentials – drinks, sunnies, phones, snacks, speaker, sunscreen – with no worries. Functional and stylish, Plonkit helps you make the most of your balcony. Plonkit Balcony Table for framed glass fence RRP $199.00, with free shipping Australia-wide. https://plonkit.com.au/ @plonk.it **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
1 week ago
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8/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

LeapFrog LeapMOVE
This one-of-a-kind gaming system combines education and entertainment with movement like never before, blending learning with motion via full-body gameplay!
https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
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Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LeapFrog LeapMOVE This one-of-a-kind gaming system combines education and entertainment with movement like never before, blending learning with motion via full-body gameplay! https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
1 week ago
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9/9
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