Close Menu
  • Home
  • What’s On
    • Events
    • Add an Event
    • Major Event
    • School Holiday Guide
  • Things To Do
    • Free Activities
      • Coastal Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
      • Picnic Spots
      • Playgrounds
      • Pram Walks
      • Rainy Day Activities
      • Walks and Bike Rides
    • Places to Visit
      • Attractions
      • Day Trips Away From The Peninsula
      • Galleries & Libraries
      • Historical
      • Markets
      • Tourism Centres
    • Places to Eat
      • Cafes
      • Restaurants
      • Wineries
    • Places To Stay
      • Accommodation
    • Shopping
      • Baby Goods – Sale & Hire
      • Child Friendly Shops
      • Made on the Peninsula
      • Online
      • Retail
    • At Home
      • Craft
      • Games
      • Recipes
  • Classes & Groups
    • Creative
      • Art and Craft
    • Playgroups
      • Central and Northern Peninsula
      • Southern Peninsula
      • Western Port
    • Sports
      • Fitness
      • Pre School Sports
      • Sports Classes and Tuition
  • Services
    • Health & Wellbeing
      • Dental
      • Health Care Practitioners
      • Hospitals
      • Support Groups
    • Pregnancy & Baby
      • Prenatal
        • Pre Natal Care/Birth Support
        • Pre Natal Fitness & Wellbeing
        • Maternal Health Centres
        • Maternity Products
      • PostNatal
        • Maternal Health Centres
        • Post Natal Support & Wellbeing
    • Special Needs
      • Activities for Special Needs
      • Support for Special Needs
      • Therapists for Special Needs
    • Education & Childcare
      • Daycare
      • Kindergartens
      • Schools
    • Finance
      • Finance
    • Photography
      • Photography
    • Child Safety & Wellbeing
      • Child Safety/First Aid
      • Emergency Numbers
  • Articles
    • Education
    • Finances
    • Health
    • Parenting Articles
    • Places to Eat
    • Pregnancy & Baby
    • Reviews
    • Member Questions
  • Parties
    • Celebrate – Party Ideas
    • Entertainment
    • Suppliers
    • Venues
  • Giveaways
  • Advertise With Us
  • About Us
    • Contact Us
  • Testimonials
  • Giveaways
Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
Thursday, October 16
  • Advertise With Us
  • About Us
    • Contact Us
  • Testimonials
  • Giveaways
Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
Peninsula Kids
  • Home
  • What’s On
    • Events
    • Add an Event
    • Major Event
    • School Holiday Guide
  • Things To Do
    • Free Activities
      • Coastal Activities
      • Outdoor Activities
      • Picnic Spots
      • Playgrounds
      • Pram Walks
      • Rainy Day Activities
      • Walks and Bike Rides
    • Places to Visit
      • Attractions
      • Day Trips Away From The Peninsula
      • Galleries & Libraries
      • Historical
      • Markets
      • Tourism Centres
    • Places to Eat
      • Cafes
      • Restaurants
      • Wineries
    • Places To Stay
      • Accommodation
    • Shopping
      • Baby Goods – Sale & Hire
      • Child Friendly Shops
      • Made on the Peninsula
      • Online
      • Retail
    • At Home
      • Craft
      • Games
      • Recipes
  • Classes & Groups
    • Creative
      • Art and Craft
    • Playgroups
      • Central and Northern Peninsula
      • Southern Peninsula
      • Western Port
    • Sports
      • Fitness
      • Pre School Sports
      • Sports Classes and Tuition
  • Services
    • Health & Wellbeing
      • Dental
      • Health Care Practitioners
      • Hospitals
      • Support Groups
    • Pregnancy & Baby
      • Prenatal
        • Pre Natal Care/Birth Support
        • Pre Natal Fitness & Wellbeing
        • Maternal Health Centres
        • Maternity Products
      • PostNatal
        • Maternal Health Centres
        • Post Natal Support & Wellbeing
    • Special Needs
      • Activities for Special Needs
      • Support for Special Needs
      • Therapists for Special Needs
    • Education & Childcare
      • Daycare
      • Kindergartens
      • Schools
    • Finance
      • Finance
    • Photography
      • Photography
    • Child Safety & Wellbeing
      • Child Safety/First Aid
      • Emergency Numbers
  • Articles
    • Education
    • Finances
    • Health
    • Parenting Articles
    • Places to Eat
    • Pregnancy & Baby
    • Reviews
    • Member Questions
  • Parties
    • Celebrate – Party Ideas
    • Entertainment
    • Suppliers
    • Venues
  • Giveaways
Peninsula Kids
Home»Spotlight»Meltdowns and Tantrums
Spotlight

Meltdowns and Tantrums

Updated:March 4, 20246 Mins Read
Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
Share
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

By Gen Muir

What if the secret to helping our children with meltdowns was as simple as leaning in, not out? What if mostly what our kids need is us for to surrender and accept the emotion?

When our child is having a meltdown, every instinct in our body wants to stop the noise, help our child, or protect ourselves. We can know the parent we want to be in these moments in theory, and yet in the moment we can find our palms sweating, our shoulders tensed, our jaw clenched, our heart rate elevating and a strong feeling of ‘No, no, no, not THIS again!’. Many parents describe it as ‘walking on eggshells’; they know a meltdown is coming and they’ll do anything to prevent it.

If our desire is to stop the meltdown, we may attempt to distract our child, solve the problem or even ignore or punish our child, in the hope it will help. In all these instances we are dealing with the behaviour only (i.e. stopping the crying/yelling/whingeing/ stomping) and we are not dealing with the underlying emotion, which is the cause of the meltdown.

Meltdowns are like smoke alarms

One of the ways to think about all behaviour, including meltdowns, is to picture that your child having a meltdown is the smoke alarm going off on the roof. It’s loud, annoying, inconvenient and it sometimes gives us a fright. Trying to stop a meltdown in a child by focusing only on stopping the behaviour is like trying to stop the smoke alarm going off by pointing your hose at the alarm. We are missing the reason the alarm went off; we need to find the fire. The behaviour is the smoke alarm going off, but the fire is the underlying emotions; the reason why your child is melting down.

While a child may be crying because you peeled their banana wrongly, if you only deal with the crying (the behaviour) you are missing the point. We need to help our child to start to understand the reason they are crying, because there is always an underlying emotion, even if we can’t name it.

We’ve all felt the public shame of our child not coping in a social situation. We think, ‘My child will never learn to socialise with others! This is so embarrassing; What will the neighbours think?’ I can’t imagine there is a parent on earth who doesn’t cringe at the thought of a public meltdown because we’ve all felt that complex mix of emotions that happen when our child loses it in front of others.

And it’s hard to meet our child’s emotions when we are being blinded by our own. For this reason, we need to learn how to lean in to emotions and find the fire as often as possible at home, so that when a meltdown happens in front of others, we’ve had some practice. This can help our reactivity.

Five steps to finding the fire

  1. First, we pause
    We need to first be aware that it’s likely that we are in a state of shame, or at least embarrassed. It never, ever feels good when our child loses it in public, or in front of others. Offer yourself compassion because these moments in parenting are HARD. By acknowledging that we feel embarrassed, we are less likely to yell at or shame our child from that place where we are unaware what’s driving our responses. Try taking a deep breath and placing your hand on your heart. Ground yourself, ready to be what your child needs and prevent a reaction that comes from shame.
  2. Focus only on what THIS moment requires
    Tune in to your child’s emotional state and recognise that no child wants to yell at their friends and make a social mistake. This is compassion. Refrain from scrolling forward in your mind and picturing that they might ‘never learn to be resilient’ and if they ‘carry on like this they will never make friends’ etc. It won’t help you at this moment, and can be simply fear talking.
    Try a mantra: ‘This is a good kid having a hard time.’
  3. Contain
    This is where we take charge if needed and this may be by containing the situation. You may need to get close, take charge and step in with the intention of helping your child. Remember no kid wants to get it wrong so you need to help them out when they need it.
    A father could try saying: ‘I am not going to let you yell at your friends. Let’s get inside so that we can calm down together. Girls, we will be back in a second.’
  4. Name it to tame it
    Finding the fire is all about looking beyond the behaviour of yelling to the feelings underneath. When we talk about what might be happening for our child, we build their ability to regulate better next time.
    Once in the room the father could say: ‘Wow, things got really out of hand there. You have worked on building this activity all day. You were so excited and when the girls didn’t want to play your idea you got disappointed and maybe even a little embarrassed they didn’t like your idea? I get it. I would have been absolutely gutted if I were you too.’ This works to uncover the underlying emotion and source of ‘the fire’.
  5. Then we coach
    Maybe you and your child hug, maybe you sit in silence for a second, but once you notice your child is in a better state to hear, you might say: ‘What do you think we should do now?’
    The father might say, ‘I wonder if the girls also had their own idea in mind? Maybe we could go and suggest a compromise, that we play their idea for 10 minutes and then we do the obstacle course?

    What do you think?’
    Many people reading this may be immediately recalling a moment that didn’t go like the above. If you are feeling like you recently got it all wrong, please remember we are trying to get this stuff right around 30–40 per cent of the time. Be kind to yourself – you are doing much better than you think.

This is an edited extract from Little People, Big Feelings by Gen Muir
– out now, Macmillan Australia, RRP $36.99.

As published in Peninsula Kids – Autumn 2024

Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email

Comments are closed.

Calendar
Today
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thu
Fri
Sat
Sun
M
T
W
T
F
S
S
29
30
1
2:00 PM - Soundwaves
7:00 PM - Soundwaves
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
4:00 PM - Sk8house Sensory Sessions
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
7:00 PM - Halloween Spooky Weekend at Sk8house
1
2
Soundwaves
Soundwaves
October 1, 2025    
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm
Band and Cinema complex
  • Family Activity
  • Free Activities
Join us for our flagship concert series, Soundwaves, at HMAS Cerberus and experience the RAN Band bringing our full wind band and variety of chamber [...]
More Info
Soundwaves
Soundwaves
October 1, 2025    
7:00 pm - 8:00 pm
HMAS Cerberus
  • Free Activities
Join us for our flagship concert series, Soundwaves, at HMAS Cerberus and experience the RAN Band bringing our full wind band and variety of chamber [...]
More Info
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
October 21, 2025    
4:00 pm - 7:00 pm
Sk8house
  • Workshop/Class
The Sk8house Sensory Sessions aim to be a calm, welcoming space for skaters of all abilities to roll their way — with reduced noise, gentle [...]
More Info
Halloween Spooky Weekend at Sk8house
Halloween Spooky Weekend at Sk8house
October 31, 2025 - November 1, 2025    
7:00 pm - 10:00 pm
Sk8house
  • Family Activity
Get ready to scream (with excitement) because Sk8house Halloween is back and it's BIGGER than ever! Last year was a huge success so we've decided [...]
More Info
Events on October 1, 2025
Soundwaves
Soundwaves
1 Oct 25
HMAS Cerberus
Soundwaves
Soundwaves
1 Oct 25
HMAS Cerberus
Events on October 21, 2025
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
21 Oct 25
Carrum Downs
Events on October 31, 2025
Halloween Spooky Weekend at Sk8house
Halloween Spooky Weekend at Sk8house
31 Oct 25
Carrum Downs
Visit Our Advertisers
ABOUT

Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

ADVERTISE WITH US

Instagram
🎃 We have some great tips and tricks for Halloween fun on the MPK website (link in bio). Just search ‘Halloween’ to add some tricks and treats to the season! 
#haloween #pumpkin #jackolanterns #roastedseeds
•
Follow
🎃 We have some great tips and tricks for Halloween fun on the MPK website (link in bio). Just search ‘Halloween’ to add some tricks and treats to the season! #haloween #pumpkin #jackolanterns #roastedseeds
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/9
Brand-New, Architecturally Designed Childcare Centre
State-of-the-art learning for children 6 weeks to school years
Trusted for Over 30 Years
Locally owned and established since 1991
Limited placements remain
Secure your child’s enrolment  today
For parents who want the very best, this centre brings together generations of experience and the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators
Now Open - Book your tour today to meet the team

(03) 5978 0808
enrolments@lgh.com.au
1408 Nepean Highway Mount Eliza 3930
•
Follow
Brand-New, Architecturally Designed Childcare Centre State-of-the-art learning for children 6 weeks to school years Trusted for Over 30 Years Locally owned and established since 1991 Limited placements remain Secure your child’s enrolment today For parents who want the very best, this centre brings together generations of experience and the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators Now Open - Book your tour today to meet the team (03) 5978 0808 enrolments@lgh.com.au 1408 Nepean Highway Mount Eliza 3930
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/9
Calling all Harry Potter fans!!!

Excited to announce that due to Due to popular demand, Harry Potterâ„¢: The Exhibition at the Fever Exhibition and Experience Centre in Brunswick, has been extended until 30 November 2025.

Harry Potter: The Exhibition captivates guests through powerful storytelling and cutting-edge interactive technology, inviting them to explore beloved moments from the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts films, as well as the Tony® Award-winning stage production Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

Tickets for additional sessions are available NOW!
https://melbourne.harrypotterexhibition.com/

@harrypotter_exhibition Harry Potter: The Exhibition
Calling all Harry Potter fans!!!

Excited to announce that due to Due to popular demand, Harry Potterâ„¢: The Exhibition at the Fever Exhibition and Experience Centre in Brunswick, has been extended until 30 November 2025.

Harry Potter: The Exhibition captivates guests through powerful storytelling and cutting-edge interactive technology, inviting them to explore beloved moments from the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts films, as well as the Tony® Award-winning stage production Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

Tickets for additional sessions are available NOW!
https://melbourne.harrypotterexhibition.com/

@harrypotter_exhibition Harry Potter: The Exhibition
•
Follow
Calling all Harry Potter fans!!! Excited to announce that due to Due to popular demand, Harry Potter™: The Exhibition at the Fever Exhibition and Experience Centre in Brunswick, has been extended until 30 November 2025. Harry Potter: The Exhibition captivates guests through powerful storytelling and cutting-edge interactive technology, inviting them to explore beloved moments from the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts films, as well as the Tony® Award-winning stage production Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Tickets for additional sessions are available NOW! https://melbourne.harrypotterexhibition.com/ @harrypotter_exhibition Harry Potter: The Exhibition
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
3/9
50 + 30 then take away 2. 

#mathsbemathing
•
Follow
50 + 30 then take away 2. #mathsbemathing
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/9
Farewell September. 🫡 

Credit: Mums Lounge
mumslounge
•
Follow
Farewell September. 🫡 Credit: Mums Lounge mumslounge
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
5/9
🔥🔥🔥🤣
•
Follow
🔥🔥🔥🤣
3 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
6/9
Roll up to the PARC County Fair these school holidays 
 
Immerse yourself in a world of entertainment and family fun at the PARC County Fair. Enjoy a splashing good time on PARC’s inflatable obstacle course, Splash Island! With slopes, slides and balancing beams, it is the ultimate water adventure. To book or learn more, visit PARC’s website. 
The PARC County Fair school holiday program will run daily from Monday 22 September – Friday 3 October. Excluding the Grand Final public holiday.

https://parc.peninsulaleisure.com.au/events/september-school-
holidays-parc-county-fair/
@parcfrankston
Roll up to the PARC County Fair these school holidays 
 
Immerse yourself in a world of entertainment and family fun at the PARC County Fair. Enjoy a splashing good time on PARC’s inflatable obstacle course, Splash Island! With slopes, slides and balancing beams, it is the ultimate water adventure. To book or learn more, visit PARC’s website. 
The PARC County Fair school holiday program will run daily from Monday 22 September – Friday 3 October. Excluding the Grand Final public holiday.

https://parc.peninsulaleisure.com.au/events/september-school-
holidays-parc-county-fair/
@parcfrankston
•
Follow
Roll up to the PARC County Fair these school holidays Immerse yourself in a world of entertainment and family fun at the PARC County Fair. Enjoy a splashing good time on PARC’s inflatable obstacle course, Splash Island! With slopes, slides and balancing beams, it is the ultimate water adventure. To book or learn more, visit PARC’s website. The PARC County Fair school holiday program will run daily from Monday 22 September – Friday 3 October. Excluding the Grand Final public holiday. https://parc.peninsulaleisure.com.au/events/september-school- holidays-parc-county-fair/ @parcfrankston
3 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

Older Reader Pack
Selection of books suitable for older readers, 8+ years/teens/adults valued at $225.

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Older Reader Pack Selection of books suitable for older readers, 8+ years/teens/adults valued at $225. **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
8/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

Younger Reader Pack
Selection of books suitable for younger readers preschool age plus valued at $260.

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Younger Reader Pack Selection of books suitable for younger readers preschool age plus valued at $260. **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
9/9
View on Instagram
Subscribe to our Newsletter

Stay In The Know

Sign up to our free newsletter and receive weekly updates on events and things to do with kids on the Mornington Peninsula.

Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Pinterest
© 2025 All Rights Reserved.

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.