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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»Successful child-centred co-parenting in divorce
Parenting Articles

Successful child-centred co-parenting in divorce

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By Tanya Somerton

In the simplest form I would define co-parenting to be a child-centred parenting method. I am sure you have heard the saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child’. Everyone in the village does not live under the same roof and neither will you! When considering separation, our children are paramount. If you are anything like me, I stayed longer then I should have in my unhappy marriage because I put my kids first. This is a broken strategy because children learn from their parents. They learn how to be in a relationship and how to be an adult from watching us. They learn the best and worst. So, staying because of the children is not the answer. Being a happy individual and learning how to co-parent with your ex- spouse will have a lifelong influence on how your kids make future decisions, not to mention improving your own happiness. Making sure your children thrive and grow should be the goal and for both parents to have the same goal need not be difficult if you follow these simple steps.

Explaining divorce and why.

Explaining divorce and why to your children is important from the start. They need to know that mummy and daddy are taking this step because they still care for each other but have different goals and aspirations. Research shows that the kids will have questions around how this decision will affect them and it’s important to tell them neither parent will abandoned them. Reassure your kids by creating a safe environment to communicate and express themselves. The important thing for you to understand is that divorce is not a one-time event for them but a long-term process. Some children may adapt and adjust sooner while others may take time. Everyone is different. Be prepared to have several such talks. If possible, talk together as parents. Show the kids you are both ready to work in their best interests and that the divorce may lead them to have a much better relationship with each parent as there is less stress and no pretence.

Be present for your children – physically and emotionally.

The quality of time you spend with your child matters more than the quantity. Children don’t recall the number of ‘things’ they received as a child but rather events and memories. Children, whether young or old, need their parent to be present. Take the time to know their schedules and work it in, wherever possible. Most importantly limit your work, or playing on your mobile phone, when you do spend time together. Parents need to be emotionally present and attuned showing the kids that they are taking a genuine interest in their lives. Actively involve yourself during the time you spend with them. Make them feel heard and important.

Support your partner’s role and never badmouth them.

No matter how bad the situation was in your relationship with your former partner, be of support if they are willing to co-parent your child.

Your child needs reassurance. Do not speak negatively about them or their parenting methods or allow anyone else to bad mouth them in front of the kids. A child is a combination of both and how you speak of your ex-partner may result in them looking at themselves in the same way. Have a co-parenting schedule, so things are clear between you and your partner. Keep away the previous hostilities from your parenting responsibilities. Remain flexible to accommodate whenever you can. Respect each other so that the children will feel reassured and confident. It may be difficult in the beginning but over time things will fall into place.

Do not involve your children in adult problems and decisions.

Children are called children for a reason. It’s not their job to help solve problems or come up with solutions. No matter how tempered or frustrated you are with your ex or life, involving the kids puts additional stress on their little shoulders. They are not your best friend or counsellor. Speak with those who can help support  you and give
a non-judgemental  response.

Maintain your own health and well-being.

A healthy mind and body will make things far less complicated. How you feel will carry into your attitude and your attitude will carry on in your efforts. Your children depend on you and that is why your mental, physical and emotional health matters.

Find support.

There will be times (even many) where things may not go according to plan with your former partner and it can result in tensions rising. Make a point of having someone to speak with (not your children) so that you have help and support; someone who can give you unbiased advice seeing both sides clearly. A good friend, a counsellor, your GP or a support group, even online such as the Divorce Angel Facebook group where you can be free to ask for assistance and have a safe space to heal.

Like all things with separation and divorce, co-parenting will be a journey of bumpy roads and flat tyres but when you arrive at your destination it will be worth the hassle.


Tanya Somerton is the founder of ‘Divorce Angel’, whose business is to facilitate a seamless and amicable divorce and separation with the aid of her ‘Army of Angels.’ Tanya provides a step by step process which limits cost and conflict that sees you achieving your most financially beneficial outcome possible, now and for the future. She is also the author of The Jelly Bean Jar – Empowering Independence Through Divorce. If you are looking to prevent any mistakes and save money, this book is a must. Purchase your copy tanyasomerton.com

For updates visit the Divorce Angel Facebook page or join our support group on facebook.com/groups/divorceangel 

For more details on Divorce Angel visit the website www.tanyasomerton.com.

Peninsula Kids – Autumn 2020

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Melbourne
Events on August 10, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
10 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 11, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
11 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 12, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
12 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 13, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
13 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 14, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
14 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 15, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
15 Aug 25
Melbourne
15 Aug
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Events on August 16, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
16 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 17, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
17 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 19, 2025
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
19 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
Events on August 23, 2025
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
23 Aug 25
Frankston
Events on August 30, 2025
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
30 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
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ABOUT

Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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Instagram
The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. 
Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. 
Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/

@acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
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The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/ @acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
4 days ago
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1/9
FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print!

https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit

#fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
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FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print! https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit #fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
4 days ago
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2/9
Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions?
We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up!

ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions? We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up! ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
1 week ago
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3/9
The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend!

Get your tickets here:

https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D

Please Note
Junior Policy:
Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry.
Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult.

@hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW 
#aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
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The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend! Get your tickets here: https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D Please Note Junior Policy: Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry. Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult. @hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW #aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
1 week ago
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4/9
Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my!

Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays.

Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience!

Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences.

“The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine
"Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times
"Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review

MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN
Frankston Arts Centre
Tuesday 23 September, 2pm
Tuesday 23 September, 6pm
Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance)
Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm
Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75)

Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060

Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac 
#frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
•
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Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my! Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays. Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience! Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences. “The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine "Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times "Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN Frankston Arts Centre Tuesday 23 September, 2pm Tuesday 23 September, 6pm Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance) Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75) Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060 Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac #frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
1 week ago
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5/9
Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/

@chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
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Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page. https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/ @chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
2 weeks ago
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6/9
No rest for the weary! 📚🥹
#bookweek
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No rest for the weary! 📚🥹 #bookweek
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Mid Winter Sale
Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes
20% off any purchase*
Hurry offer ends 31/8/25
The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula
Bayside Shoes
103 Railway Parade, Seaford
Ph 9785 1887
https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/

*excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only.

@bayside_shoe_warehouse 
#midwintersale
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Mid Winter Sale Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes 20% off any purchase* Hurry offer ends 31/8/25 The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula Bayside Shoes 103 Railway Parade, Seaford Ph 9785 1887 https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/ *excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only. @bayside_shoe_warehouse #midwintersale
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
8/9
🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱
@regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films 
#futurecouncil
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🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱 @regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films #futurecouncil
3 weeks ago
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9/9
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