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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»What do you need from me?
Parenting Articles

What do you need from me?

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By Deanne Atkinson

What do you do when your parenting strategies and the tools you use to ensure a happy household no longer work? We all know that sinking feeling when you cook your child’s favourite meal then one day out of the blue he or she refuses to eat it and declares a new found dislike for it. Or when they start to protest against you and no longer cooperate in getting out the door each morning.

Parenting can feel like you are often navigating through life blindfolded and unprepared for the next hurdle. One minute the way you parent your children works; the next it doesn’t and you feel like you have really hit a brick wall. Frustration quickly creeps in and we can start to feel angry and resentful. 

What’s going on? Children will show you through their behaviour that something is up with them or they are struggling with something under the surface. Just like when you are trying to process some difficult emotions and you might be short tempered during this time; a little more inpatient than normal or you might be someone who withdraws until you have moved through what was troubling you. Children will also behave differently if they are stuck emotionally or struggling with something. 

It is important to see beyond the behaviour and spend some time talking to your child asking them what they are feeling. It may take a few attempts for children to open up, especially if they fear they are going to get into trouble, but keep encouraging them to express their feelings so you can then take the necessary action to help them.

Refusing to cooperate could mean they are tired of being told what to do all the time. Children want to be heard and it is easy to fall into the pattern of just telling them what you want them to do. If this is constant, a child at some point will stop and turn their ears off and dig their heels in. Next time this happens pause for a moment instead of getting angry; is there an opportunity for you to change the way you parent? Have their needs changed? Has your parenting style been overpowering and demanding rather than giving them the opportunity to make choices and have a say in their environment?

What do you need from me? This is the question I asked my teenage son when for a few days he was irritated by me and had become curt and moody. Instead of putting it down as normal teenage behaviour I sat him down and asked what he needs from me.  It was a powerful moment in time for our relationship and the way I parent him. I learnt what he no longer needed from me. We talked and talked about what he wanted, needed and what he felt capable of. I needed to adjust my parenting, pull away and give him more freedom and independence which he felt ready for. I trusted his own judgment and gave him my support. His irritation passed and he was back to his happy self.

The point I am trying to make is: look beyond your child’s behaviour to what the underlying cause could be. Be open-minded; sometimes we are the ones who need to change and consequently the children will respond positively. 

Children love to have a say on what goes on in their lives and will often thrive if their independence is nurtured with age-related choices. We all want to feel heard and not made to obey others demands. Next time you feel resistance in the household, take a breath, find the cause and then you can move forward with a plan of action. It really is an opportunity for growth, usually for everyone involved. 


Deanne Atkinson is a Parent Coach and Spiritual Counsellor and founded Parent with Passion to help reduce the negative cycle which occurs in parenting. She has a spiritual approach to parenting which is all about supporting positive emotions and personal development. She helps mums and dads who are struggling with their role.

Deanne runs parenting programs and private consultations in Mornington and Frankston.

For enquiries Deanne can be contacted on 0413 316 079 or at www.parentwithpassion.com You can also join Deanne on Facebook or Instagram

First published in Peninsula Kids – Summer 2018/19

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Events on August 14, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
14 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 15, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
15 Aug 25
Melbourne
15 Aug
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Events on August 16, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
16 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 17, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
17 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 19, 2025
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
19 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
Events on August 23, 2025
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
23 Aug 25
Frankston
Events on August 30, 2025
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
30 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
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Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. 
Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. 
Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/

@acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
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The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/ @acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
4 days ago
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1/9
FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print!

https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit

#fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
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FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print! https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit #fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
4 days ago
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2/9
Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions?
We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up!

ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions? We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up! ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
1 week ago
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3/9
The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend!

Get your tickets here:

https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D

Please Note
Junior Policy:
Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry.
Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult.

@hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW 
#aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
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The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend! Get your tickets here: https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D Please Note Junior Policy: Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry. Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult. @hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW #aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
1 week ago
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4/9
Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my!

Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays.

Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience!

Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences.

“The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine
"Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times
"Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review

MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN
Frankston Arts Centre
Tuesday 23 September, 2pm
Tuesday 23 September, 6pm
Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance)
Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm
Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75)

Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060

Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac 
#frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
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Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my! Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays. Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience! Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences. “The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine "Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times "Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN Frankston Arts Centre Tuesday 23 September, 2pm Tuesday 23 September, 6pm Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance) Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75) Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060 Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac #frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
1 week ago
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5/9
Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/

@chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
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Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page. https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/ @chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
2 weeks ago
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6/9
No rest for the weary! 📚🥹
#bookweek
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No rest for the weary! 📚🥹 #bookweek
2 weeks ago
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7/9
Mid Winter Sale
Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes
20% off any purchase*
Hurry offer ends 31/8/25
The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula
Bayside Shoes
103 Railway Parade, Seaford
Ph 9785 1887
https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/

*excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only.

@bayside_shoe_warehouse 
#midwintersale
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Mid Winter Sale Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes 20% off any purchase* Hurry offer ends 31/8/25 The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula Bayside Shoes 103 Railway Parade, Seaford Ph 9785 1887 https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/ *excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only. @bayside_shoe_warehouse #midwintersale
2 weeks ago
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8/9
🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱
@regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films 
#futurecouncil
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🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱 @regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films #futurecouncil
3 weeks ago
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9/9
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