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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»Building resilience in young people
Parenting Articles

Building resilience in young people

Updated:July 14, 20214 Mins Read
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By Adam Voight

There are some crucial traps that we fall into when it comes to fostering resilience in our kids – and the main one is that merely knowing what resilience is, not what will make them resilient. You can certainly know what resilience is – and this also applies to other quality such as empathy, responsibility or kindness – without making it a habit of our lives or our go-to way of operating.

Resilient is something we become rather than something we discover.

And there are some simple ways that parents can prepare their teenager for the academic challenge ahead. So, here’s four ways that you can help your child build and deploy resilience.

FOCUS ON SELF-TALK

Share the story of somebody who has overcome great odds to succeed. It can be somebody you know or even somebody famous. Ask what they think goes on in that person’s mind when faced with difficulty and explore how useful that thinking is.

It’s then possible to discuss what happens in our own minds and what words we choose to tell ourselves.

Is our self-talk about defeatism and catastrophe?

Is it “Well, this sucks. I hadn’t planned for this question on the exam. Now I’m really screwed”?

Or could we flip that self-talk into something intentionally positive and optimistic? Instead, we’ll choose to think “I’ve prepared for this. It’s not expected but I can handle it. Take a deep breath. You’ll be alright”.

FIND A RESILIENCE HERO

Too regularly these days our kids equate fame with success.

But the truth is that very few people succeed without perseverance and the hard work born of a resilient disposition.

Spark a dinner conversation out of the exploits of Jessica Watson, who solo circumnavigated the planet as a sixteen-year-old. Can you imagine how she felt the first time she looked over her shoulder and realised she was completely alone?

Or watch a Road Runner cartoon and discuss the never-give-up attitude of the Coyote and how he persists in the face of painful tragedy without either giving up on his goal or using the same tactic twice.

There are resilient heroes everywhere for us to look up to, leaving your teenager removing their stare from overnight sensations and dumb luck.

EXTEND THEIR SUPPORT NETWORKS

We sometimes fall for the trap of thinking that resilient young people are incredibly self-reliant – not true.

Kids who are resilient aren’t silly enough to keep all of their support eggs in one basket. What if they get hit by a bus?! They tend to have plenty of human resources they can turn to when things are tough.

Connect your teen to people you know who are resourceful, subject matter experts or who are resilient types themselves. And respect their connections with friends who have these qualities too.

Sometimes the best friend to have is the one who’s done it the toughest in life.

TAKE YOUR RESILIENCE ON THE ROAD

Every teacher knows a student who would finish a football match with a broken ankle …. but who falls to pieces when asked to add fractions.

True resilience isn’t context specific and resilient people don’t just have the capacity to be resilient in their favourite places.

They can move their resilience.

Encourage your child to embrace new experiences – even uncomfortable ones in areas where they struggle, fail or feel a little foolish. Resilience, you see, isn’t something that we’re handed after we’ve seen an inspiring speaker at school or made a poster about it.

Resilience is something you need to practice, making the task for parents and teachers – given we’ve agreed that it’s all about thriving despite risk – is to access our kids to that risk.

Every opportunity for your child to overcome frustration, to battle in vain and to deal with the potential of royally screwing up is an opportunity to build their resilience. What are you doing for your child, right now, that s/he could be doing themselves? Start with handing them that risk.


Adam Voigt is a former successful School Principal and system leader who is now the Founder & CEO of Real Schools. Adam is also the author of ‘Restoring Teaching’, a groundbreaking book aimed at restoring esteem for the role of educators through establishing strong, productive and restorative cultures around Australia’s schools.

Visit www.realschools.com.au

Peninsula Kids – Autumn 2021

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Immerse yourself in a world of entertainment and family fun at the PARC County Fair. Enjoy a splashing good time on PARC’s inflatable obstacle course, Splash Island! With slopes, slides and balancing beams, it is the ultimate water adventure. To book or learn more, visit PARC’s website. 
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Roll up to the PARC County Fair these school holidays Immerse yourself in a world of entertainment and family fun at the PARC County Fair. Enjoy a splashing good time on PARC’s inflatable obstacle course, Splash Island! With slopes, slides and balancing beams, it is the ultimate water adventure. To book or learn more, visit PARC’s website. The PARC County Fair school holiday program will run daily from Monday 22 September – Friday 3 October. Excluding the Grand Final public holiday. https://parc.peninsulaleisure.com.au/events/september-school- holidays-parc-county-fair/ @parcfrankston
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Nano-Mals Hasbro is excited to introduce Nano-Mals, their brand-new line of interactive, pocket-sized electronic pets that are here to win hearts… literally! The handheld Nano-Mals team the appeal of digital pets with the fun play of fidget toys, creating a sensory experience specifically designed for today’s kids. Measuring just 6.9 cm, Nano-Mals are perfectly pocket-sized with an oversized personality. Nano-Mals are the ultimate gift for kids who love fidget toys, animals, and interactive digital fun. With unlimited ways to care, style, and connect, this new range is set to be the must-have mini pet of the year. These collectibles are available now in major retailers including Big W, Target, and independent toy stores. RRP: $25.00 each **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Little Jellies Swimwear Assorted – Size 4 Bright. Bold. Bursting with personality. Little Jellies is the new Australian swimwear label on a mission to make water play safer and more joyful for little ones and a little less stressful for parents. The brand is redefining safety-focused swimwear for safe, active summers. Little Jellies caters to children aged 6 months to 6 years. The collection includes baby swimwear, rashies, sun tops, surf suits, mix-and-match separates, and bucket hats—each made with a snug-but-stretchy fit, UPF50+ sun protection, and quick-dry technology. https://www.littlejellies.com.au/ @little.jellies.swim We have a Long sleeve rash shirt in pink, briefs in purple, and yellow surfsuit all size 4 to give away valued at $139.85 **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE VIA LINK IN BIO
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