By: Janelle Ryan
DO you feel ready to take on the new year?
The reason I’m asking is because I noticed a common theme among my clients and friends last December. The theme was that they were all exhausted. Many of them told me they were feeling burnt out, depleted of energy and some of them were actually ill. They were ready to hit the beach, the snow or just their BED (yes, someone actually told me she just wanted to sleep) and relax for a couple of weeks.
What if you started 2017 differently?
What if you lightened your load a little and … heaven forbid … asked for help?
Yep, that’s what I said. ASK. FOR. HELP. At home. In your business. At work.
Raise your hand if the thought of asking for help strikes a bit of fear in your heart? You are not alone. Many of us find it difficult to ask for help, but often staying silent is detrimental to our personal and professional lives. Taking on too much or battling against challenges alone can affect our emotional and physical health, our relationships and even our finances.
So why are we hesitant to ask for help? The reasons vary from one person to the next, but here are some of the most common reasons we prefer to struggle alone rather than request assistance.
1. Not Wanting To Seem Weak Or “Needy”
Many of us are frightened to make ourselves vulnerable in front of others, especially if our workplace, mother’s group or family and friends are highly competitive. We worry that we will get hurt or the information will be used against us by others. Some of us find it safer to project a strong image of self sufficiency and independence (even if we are barely coping behind closed doors).
2. Wanting To Stay In Control
Sometimes when we ask for help we receive more than we asked for and more than we need. We lose complete control over our project or situation. To avoid this, be mindful of who it is you request help from and make your request clear and concise.
3. Fear Of The “Cost”
What’s the price? What is this going to cost you? What will this person expect in return? Relationships usually thrive when both individuals feel the partnership or friendship is an equal one. When asking for a favour consider offering one in return. Be wary of people who are willing to offer help but refuse to accept it AND those who are very happy to take from you without ever giving back.
Yes, good old “I can do it the best way”. If you love things done your way, then go right ahead. There is nothing wrong with this when you are immersed in normal, everyday tasks but if you start to feel out of control it may be time to admit you are human and ask for help.
HERE ARE THE SIX BENEFITS OF DOING SO…
1. RELATIONSHIP BUILDING/NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES
Human beings are social beings. We love feeling connected with others and often feel discomfort when experiencing feelings of isolation. Collaboration with another strengthens our relatedness with others.
When we ask someone to help us in a professional environment, they bring with them their networks, contacts and connections, providing potential opportunities for your business or career.
Or a really great hairdresser or babysitter!
2. BETTER HEALTH
Accepting help from another or “sharing the load” provides a sense of relief and an increase in energy. Negative thoughts and stress levels decrease.
3. INCREASE IN PRODUCTIVITY
If you choose to accept assistance from someone with the right skills, you will become more efficient, creative and successful in your tasks. This person may help you become unstuck, remove obstacles and motivate you to progress faster towards your goals.
4. OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN & DEVELOP
There is no one in the world like you. You are unique, just like the person you choose to accept help from. This person will bring their own experience, knowledge, skills and resources. They may teach you something new, provide you with information or offer an idea you’d not thought of.
5. DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR GROWTH MINDSET
Admitting you need help, and asking for it, teaches you and those around you that asking for help is allowed, beneficial and normal. This develops your growth mindset which sparks curiosity, creativity, open mindedness and a desire to learn more and achieve more.
Think of the last time you asked for help and it came. Did you feel grateful?
Research shows that people who regularly practise gratitude
- experience less physical aches and pains
- exercise more often
- enjoy a reduction in emotions such as envy, resentment, frustration and regret
- experience more happiness and less anxiety
- sleep better
- have high esteem
- are more resilient and have better mental strength
Six valuable reasons to not go it alone this year.
Are you up to the challenge?
Janelle Ryan is a passionate and dedicated Personal Coach and the founder of Sky High Coaching. She combines her background in travel, recreation and recruitment with her business and coaching qualifications to help high achievers create a life of clarity, freedom and confidence. Her area of genius is helping her clients create precise and required change in their lives so they can move from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to empowered, confident and motivated. Her passionate and enthusiastic nature makes her a natural in working with clients who have already experienced success and are now committed to taking their lives to the next level. She does this working on one with her private clients from 3 to 12 months. She also helps her online community take their lives from feeling Average to Ah-Mazing via her online multimedia course. She believes everyone can take their life Sky High!