By Maz Dela Cerna
Once we start doubting ourselves and our abilities, it can be easy to fall into a cycle of negativity and our destructive thoughts can spiral. What we focus on grows, and the more we focus on fear and doubt, the worse it becomes. Hereโs five actionable tips that can help overcome limiting beliefs and self-destructive thoughts; instead shift your mindset to a more empowered and constructive place.
1. Make a list of all of the things you have achieved
When overwhelmed with limiting thoughts, we tend to forget all the things we have already achieved.
Take a moment and write a list of all the things you have accomplished that you are proud of. No matter how big or small, it will do wonders to remind yourself of what you have already been capable of.
2. Remind yourself of all the things you have overcome that you once thought you couldnโt get through
How many times have you been in a situation where you thought you were not going to see the light at the end of the tunnel? What about the break-up that left you in pieces, that time you lost a loved one or maybe you didnโt get the job position that your heart was set on? Remember when you once thought you couldnโt make it through. Did you overcome it? Did you surprise yourself with your own strength? How did you pick yourself up?
3. Think of the people in your life that love you the most. How would they describe you?
When we are stuck in self-doubt, we tend to focus on our flaws and imperfections rather than our strengths. Stepping outside of our own minds and seeing ourselves from the perspective of our loved ones can give us insight as to why they love us and remind ourselves of the great qualities we possess. The people that love us the most see the beauty we have in our character. They see us in a light that isnโt jaded with the limiting beliefs we can have for ourselves. Take a moment and really think about why it is they love you and how they would describe you.
4. Shadow Work
Shadow work is a process of being able to face the subconscious parts of ourselves, the parts we tend to not want to face or admit: trauma, greed, anger, jealousy, and our deep-seated fears. Itโs bringing our โshadow sideโ to the light and understanding where it stemmed from and showing compassion for ourselves while we admit and accept responsibility for the part we played.
It isnโt easy to look at ourselves in this way and admit to things we arenโt proud of. But it is an important step towards healing. Becoming self-aware and understanding why you my say or do certain things, and digging deep into where it stemmed from, can be life changing.
It requires us to look deep into our childhood, our past relationships, our upbringing, family dynamics and life experiences.
Some of things you may find can even surprise you. For example,
I realized I had a limiting belief around money because I grew up in a household where โMoney is bad. The rich are greedy, and the poor only get poorer.โ I realized I made a lot of decisions based on this subconscious belief without being aware I was limiting myself from achieving the things I wanted.
5. Fear and truth chart
This is a tip my own mentor shared with me. I have found it has helped me every time I find myself in a wave of toxic thoughts and puts things in a much more positive perspective.ย
Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left write down all the negative or fearful thoughts you may have about yourself and, on the right, look at the situation without your emotions and write down the truth in a positive light.
For example, I will never meet the person of my dreams and I will be alone for the rest of my life โ I havenโt yet met the right one, but I am learning lessons along the way that are helping and preparing me for when they do come into my life.
Maz Dela Cerna, author of I Deserve Better, is a renowned self-development coach, author, blogger and YouTuber. As the founder of the Phoenix Rising Collective she coaches people around the world to uncover and remove their self-limiting beliefs and self-destructive thoughts.
Find out more at www.mazdelacerna.com