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Peninsula Kids
Home»Spotlight»Effective communication tips for Mums
Spotlight

Effective communication tips for Mums

Updated:July 15, 20214 Mins Read
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By Amanda Stokes

I often think it’s an odd thing that the only experience we have when we become a parent is that of having been a child to one. It’s worth reflecting on. So much of who we become as a parent is based on our own experiences. If your own parents were overly authoritative, you may have gone the opposite way; alternatively if your parents lacked structure and boundaries, you may have a similar parenting style because you know no other way.

I run with the mantra that we are all doing the best job we know how, but when we know better we can be better.

Here are my top tips for improving communication with your tween daughter:

 1. Know your communication style..

Are you reactive? Do you blow up easily? Are you an ‘I told you so’ parent? Are you a pushover? Do you worry your daughter won’t like you and so you try to appease her by treading on egg shells? Now think of how your daughter treats you. Is she rude and argumentative? Is she dismissive? There is often a correlation between the way we talk to our girls and the way they respond. It’s imperative we become self aware here. If you know that you get angry easily, then don’t be surprised if your daughter returns fire. If she responds with a snarky tone and you deliver snarky right back at her, then it’s no shock that you’ll often find yourself in a battle of words. Monkey see monkey do, and if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always get.

 2. Practice the pause..

Once you’ve figured out how you’re communicating with your daughter, exercise the pause, whether that be by counting to 10, or asserting a personal boundary by saying “I’m feeling really angry/frustrated/ so we’ll talk about this when we’ve both cooled down”. The pause is powerful because it buys time and it allows for you both to return to the conversation without the heat. A volcanic eruption can’t be stopped, it needs to run its course and when we’re fired up, we lead with emotion and often say things we don’t mean.

The pause is also an effective way to role model a more positive calming strategy for our daughters. 

 3. Be consistent. .

It can be so hard when life is hectic, and you’re juggling so many balls to be consistent in our parenting approach, but consistency is key.

If you allow something one day and then don’t allow it the next, these mixed messages impact whatever it is you’re trying to achieve. We also want to avoid being the nagger. Having to ask over and over to have jobs done, and having these requests fall on deaf ears, can lead to an escalation in our tone and frustration. A great way to work around this, is to just use one word. If you want the dishwasher done, just say “dishwasher” and give a time frame for that job to be completed in, say within 30 minutes. What this does is it makes our children feel like they have some autonomy over the ‘when’. It’s a great step towards them further developing their growing independence. Setting up a shared Family Agreement – Chapter 1 in The Tween Mother’s Tool Book: Raising Strong Daughters, can help with dealing with the consequences of non-compliance.

Whatever you do, it’s important not to be too hard on yourself. The best thing about life, is that tomorrow always gives you a fresh day and a new opportunity to start over.


For more tips on raising strong daughters, Amanda’s new book The Tween Mother’s Tool Book: Raising Strong Daughters, an activity based guide promoting connection, reflection and effective communication between a mother and her daughter is available now from www.raisingstrongdaughters.com.au
You can also follow her on Instagram @raisingstrongdaughters_

Peninsula Kids – Winter 2021

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LEGO Star Wars™ Chopper (C1-10P) Astromech Droid Suitable for 10+ – Create a playful display featuring a lovable astromech droid Chopper (C1-10P) with this LEGO® Star Wars™ buildable model kit with a buildable figure of Chopper, as seen in Star Wars: Ahsoka™. Move the lever on his back to remotely activate his iconic head movements, pose his arms and legs, fold out a tool from his chest, and more. Choppers arms and his center wheel are detachable so he can be displayed as if his arms and wheel have been retracted into his body. Suitable for 10+. RRP: $179.99 https://www.lego.com/en-au **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE VIA LINK IN BIO
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Little Jellies Swimwear Assorted – Size 4 Bright. Bold. Bursting with personality. Little Jellies is the new Australian swimwear label on a mission to make water play safer and more joyful for little ones and a little less stressful for parents. The brand is redefining safety-focused swimwear for safe, active summers. Little Jellies caters to children aged 6 months to 6 years. The collection includes baby swimwear, rashies, sun tops, surf suits, mix-and-match separates, and bucket hats—each made with a snug-but-stretchy fit, UPF50+ sun protection, and quick-dry technology. https://www.littlejellies.com.au/ @little.jellies.swim We have a Long sleeve rash shirt in pink, briefs in purple, and yellow surfsuit all size 4 to give away valued at $139.85 **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE VIA LINK IN BIO
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Get your skates on (or hire some of theirs) and get down to Sk8house in Carrum Downs for good old-fashioned family fun this school holidays. They’re OPEN EVERY DAY with General Sessions, Skate Classes and Birthday Parties, plus by popular demand, they’re also running Sensory Sessions every Friday morning! Find out more: https://www.sk8house.com.au/ @sk8houseau
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Kidhy – hydra helpa Say hello to hydra helpa; the debut product from kidhy, a new Australian brand on a mission to help solve the common challenge of getting kids to drink enough water. Scientifically formulated just for children, hydra helpa is an alternative to sugary drinks and adult electrolyte drinks. The delicious water infusions are packed with electrolytes for hydration, plus prebiotics and probiotics to support gut health. hydra helpa is available now in a three kid-approved flavours: Apple & Raspberry, Pineapple & Coconut and Orange & Passionfruit. RRP $49.95 for packs of 30 sachets. kidhy silicone drink bottles are also available for $29.95. hydra helpa + drink bottle bundles are available for $69.95. Available online at https://kidhy.com/ @kidhy.co **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN BIO
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LEGO Brick Like This! The LEGO® Group and Asmodee, a leading entertainment company specialising in tabletop games, have announced their second jointly-crafted board game. LEGO® Brick Like This! is a fun family party game where teams race to finish their LEGO® models. One teammate describes a LEGO® model while the other teammate builds it. Communication and collaboration are key in this fun and fast-talking LEGO® building party game! Work together in pairs to build your LEGO® model first! Can you build with your eyes closed? With one hand? How about talking without being able to say numbers or colors? No two games will be the same. Designed for ages 8+ (and perfect for creative adults too) and available from EB Games: RRP: $40.00. **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Mambo Australia Family Pack
The Ultimate Family Spring Giveaway with Mambo!
From bold-printed suitcases and insulated lunch boxes to roomy backpacks, comfy sandals and playful sunnies, this capsule has everything the family needs for their next holiday. Designed for boys and girls, with the apparel ranging in sizes 7-16 and footwear available in sizes 13-6, perfect for packing light and dressing right from head to toe.

The prize pack will include the following for the winning family: 2 x each – backpacks (kids), water bottles (kids), lunch boxes (kids), pencil cases (kids), overnight bags (adult), hats (adult), beanies (adult), stubby holders (adult) valued at over $300. Selected products available from Big W.
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Mambo Australia Family Pack The Ultimate Family Spring Giveaway with Mambo! From bold-printed suitcases and insulated lunch boxes to roomy backpacks, comfy sandals and playful sunnies, this capsule has everything the family needs for their next holiday. Designed for boys and girls, with the apparel ranging in sizes 7-16 and footwear available in sizes 13-6, perfect for packing light and dressing right from head to toe. The prize pack will include the following for the winning family: 2 x each – backpacks (kids), water bottles (kids), lunch boxes (kids), pencil cases (kids), overnight bags (adult), hats (adult), beanies (adult), stubby holders (adult) valued at over $300. Selected products available from Big W. @mamboaustralia **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Plonkit The Plonkit solves an age-old Aussie problem – where to safely and conveniently “plonk” down your belongings when you’re outside. Made from recyclable plexiglass materials, it easily and securely connects to a glass fence, providing a sturdy place to plonk down all the essentials – drinks, sunnies, phones, snacks, speaker, sunscreen – with no worries. Functional and stylish, Plonkit helps you make the most of your balcony. Plonkit Balcony Table for framed glass fence RRP $199.00, with free shipping Australia-wide. https://plonkit.com.au/ @plonk.it **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

LeapFrog LeapMOVE
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https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LeapFrog LeapMOVE This one-of-a-kind gaming system combines education and entertainment with movement like never before, blending learning with motion via full-body gameplay! https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
1 week ago
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