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Peninsula Kids
Home»Pregnancy & Baby»Granny’s Guide: Bonding
Pregnancy & Baby

Granny’s Guide: Bonding

Updated:January 25, 20234 Mins Read
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By Yvette O’Dowd

Bonding. Attachment.

These are words we use to describe things which are connected. Secure attachment is strong, unlikely to break apart.

We also use these words to describe the connection between adults and children, primarily mother and baby in the first instance. (Or another primary caregiver who takes on that role.) Here we will discuss the maternal/infant bond as that is the biologically-typical mammal model.

A human infant needs an enormous amount of support to reach the stage of independence; more than any other species on earth. Taking on that commitment, ahead of all other possibilities, is the greatest demand there is. If we just look at raising a child to “breeding age” (puberty) we are looking at 12-15 years. Brain maturity is reached around 25 years.

A mother bonds with her infant during the postnatal period. Bonding probably begins in pregnancy but it is during the immediate skin-to-skin period after birth when it really kicks in. It is a process which develops over the following days and weeks.

Through the bonding process, a mother becomes so committed to the care and protection of her child that she will put their needs above all others, including her own. It is this bond which ensures she will take whatever action is required when her child is threatened, without needing to engage the logical, thinking brain which might need time to process the danger and consider if it is in the mother’s best interest to take a risk.

Bonding is a two-way process. The baby needs to bond with their mother just as much as she does with them.

Bonding is enhanced through the release of the hormone oxytocin. This happens in babies, mothers, fathers and other carers when they see, hear, feel and smell each other in a caring situation. Breastfeeding enhances bonding because it brings all these together frequently throughout the day. However, this doesn’t mean that those who are not breastfeeding cannot bond with their baby. Loving care also includes feeding by cup, spoon or bottle, bathing and nappy changing, carrying and skin-to-skin contact. Fathers and other non-lactating parents find their own special ways to bond with their breastfed babies. Babies bond with parents, grandparents, siblings and extended family and carers. The strength of the primary bond does not reduce the development of other secure attachments.

The mother-baby bond is the strongest your baby has in the early years. Breastfeeding is an intense relationship and it is important for babies to be close to their breastfeeding mother, both physically and emotionally. That doesn’t mean they cannot form bonds with other people at the same time but it does mean the mother is generally going to be the person they seek first. They are not excluding fathers or grandparents. It is not a rod a mother has created for her own back. It is a natural part of the breastfeeding process. As a child grows, often in the third or fourth year, they naturally build stronger relationships with others in their circle. Weaning prematurely from the breast, removing a child from the family bed before they are ready, or other interventions will not mature the infant brain more quickly but can be traumatic for both mother and child.

Children who have secure attachment will become distressed when separated from their primary caregivers and be relieved when reunited – even crying when they see them. However, separation anxiety only begins to develop later in the first year, around 9 months, as the infant brain begins to understand their mother is a separate entity. Prior to this they function as though they and their mother are a single unit. Separation anxiety peaks around 18 months and gradually eases, when the brain develops further and the infant is able to understand that the parent will always return. This child will be happy to see their primary caregiver return, prefers them over others and will turn to them for comfort when frightened or unsure. This is normal behaviour and does not mean a child is too reliant on their mother or will never become independent. In fact, infants whose needs are quickly and reliably responded to go on to be confident children and adults.


Yvette O’Dowd is not your typical grandmother! This mother of three and ‘Granny’ of three has been a breastfeeding counsellor since 1992. In 2014, Yvette established the Southern Natural Parenting Network, incorporating South Eastern Babywearing Group. With 11,000 members world-wide, the group supports parents interested in breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, baby-led weaning and modern cloth nappies and other aspects of gentle, natural parenting.

www.facebook.com/SouthernNaturalParentingNetwork

Peninsula Kids – Winter 2022

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MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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Melbourne Symphony Orchestra’s Jams for Juniors comes to McClelland. Join Karen Kyriakou and MSO musicians for joyful music-making with little ones aged 0–5. Two fun-filled sessions on 6 Aug & 3 Sept. 
Tickets required for all. Book now.

https://mcclelland.org.au/events/mso-presents-jam-for-juniors-at-mcclelland

@mcclellandgallery McClelland Sculpture Park+Gallery 
#jamsforjuniors #mso
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Melbourne Symphony Orchestra’s Jams for Juniors comes to McClelland. Join Karen Kyriakou and MSO musicians for joyful music-making with little ones aged 0–5. Two fun-filled sessions on 6 Aug & 3 Sept. Tickets required for all. Book now. https://mcclelland.org.au/events/mso-presents-jam-for-juniors-at-mcclelland @mcclellandgallery McClelland Sculpture Park+Gallery #jamsforjuniors #mso
2 days ago
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1/9
…asking for a friend. 
👍 up high
❤️ down low
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…asking for a friend. 👍 up high ❤️ down low
2 days ago
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2/9
No Food Shaming.

If you grew up in the ‘80s, ‘90s, or early 2000’s, chances are you were taught to see food through a moral lens: veggies were “good,” chocolate was “bad,” and fat was something to fear. That messaging stuck.

So now, when you reach for a bag of chips after a long day or say yes to dessert, a quiet voice in the back of your mind is likely to whisper: “You shouldn’t.” You feel like you’ve done something wrong – simply for eating something you enjoy. And here’s the thing: our kids are watching. They’re listening. The way we talk about food becomes the way they relate to it.

If you want to raise confident eaters, it’s time to let go of the “good” vs “bad” food narrative and allow your kids to enjoy food without guilt or shame. Let’s be real; some foods are more nutrient-dense than others. But that doesn’t mean that we need to rank them on a scale. Instead of calling food “good” or “bad”, try talking about how it fits into the bigger picture of what our bodies need. 

Read on for a few ways to reframe the conversation:
https://peninsulakids.com.au/no-food-shaming

@nourishwithkarina Nourish with Karina 

#nofoodshaming
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No Food Shaming. If you grew up in the ‘80s, ‘90s, or early 2000’s, chances are you were taught to see food through a moral lens: veggies were “good,” chocolate was “bad,” and fat was something to fear. That messaging stuck. So now, when you reach for a bag of chips after a long day or say yes to dessert, a quiet voice in the back of your mind is likely to whisper: “You shouldn’t.” You feel like you’ve done something wrong – simply for eating something you enjoy. And here’s the thing: our kids are watching. They’re listening. The way we talk about food becomes the way they relate to it. If you want to raise confident eaters, it’s time to let go of the “good” vs “bad” food narrative and allow your kids to enjoy food without guilt or shame. Let’s be real; some foods are more nutrient-dense than others. But that doesn’t mean that we need to rank them on a scale. Instead of calling food “good” or “bad”, try talking about how it fits into the bigger picture of what our bodies need. Read on for a few ways to reframe the conversation: https://peninsulakids.com.au/no-food-shaming @nourishwithkarina Nourish with Karina #nofoodshaming
3 days ago
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3/9
🤪#bloodyrightitis #strangerthings
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🤪#bloodyrightitis #strangerthings
3 days ago
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4/9
Monday night funny. 
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lol

#thepenthouse #foodhierarchy
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Monday night funny. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lol #thepenthouse #foodhierarchy
4 days ago
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5/9
#spiritanimal
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#spiritanimal
6 days ago
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6/9
Take my 13-year-old's money.

#moneyburningahole #theyllbuyanything #spendspendspend
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Take my 13-year-old's money. #moneyburningahole #theyllbuyanything #spendspendspend
1 week ago
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7/9
AT 94 years old, Frank Brown is living proof that creativity knows no age. A beloved gem to the community of Hastings, Frank has become an unlikely celebrity at FiRST Early Learning Hastings thanks to his handcrafted dioramas. 

Read the full story using the link:
https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/07/22/94-year-old-brings-tiny-world-magic-to-kids

#morningtonpeninsula #hastings #localcelebrity 
@firstearlylearning FiRST Early Learning 
Photo: Gary Sissons
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AT 94 years old, Frank Brown is living proof that creativity knows no age. A beloved gem to the community of Hastings, Frank has become an unlikely celebrity at FiRST Early Learning Hastings thanks to his handcrafted dioramas. Read the full story using the link: https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/07/22/94-year-old-brings-tiny-world-magic-to-kids #morningtonpeninsula #hastings #localcelebrity @firstearlylearning FiRST Early Learning Photo: Gary Sissons
1 week ago
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8/9
The Myth of the Perfect Parent
Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold this idea that good parenting means never messing up. That if we just try hard enough, read the right books, and avoid raising our voices, we’ll somehow unlock the secret to raising perfectly adjusted children. But here’s the truth which I finally accepted: there is no perfect way to parent. There are only good days and bad days. There are moments when you handle things beautifully and moments when you yell something ridiculous like, “WHY ARE YOUR SHOES IN THE FRIDGE?” There are times when you feel like a hero and times when you feel like a complete failure. And that’s okay.

https://peninsulakids.com.au/mumming-the-art-of-failing-and-why-thats-totally-fine/

@drunkmummysobermummy
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The Myth of the Perfect Parent Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold this idea that good parenting means never messing up. That if we just try hard enough, read the right books, and avoid raising our voices, we’ll somehow unlock the secret to raising perfectly adjusted children. But here’s the truth which I finally accepted: there is no perfect way to parent. There are only good days and bad days. There are moments when you handle things beautifully and moments when you yell something ridiculous like, “WHY ARE YOUR SHOES IN THE FRIDGE?” There are times when you feel like a hero and times when you feel like a complete failure. And that’s okay. https://peninsulakids.com.au/mumming-the-art-of-failing-and-why-thats-totally-fine/ @drunkmummysobermummy
1 week ago
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9/9
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