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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»Granny’s Guide : when your child won’t take part in activities
Parenting Articles

Granny’s Guide : when your child won’t take part in activities

Updated:January 25, 20236 Mins Read
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By Yvette O’Dowd
Photos Penny McKenzie and Natured Kids

It’s taken you hours to get organised and get here – and now you child won’t get down off your lap and participate!

Parents invest time and money enrolling their toddlers and pre-schoolers in organised, educational groups and classes. Playgroups, music groups, sensory play, story-time – millennial children have opportunities to fill every day and more. But what can you do if your little one resists engagement and prefers to watch?

Well, firstly, it’s okay by the facilitator and other adults! Relax – its not just you or your child. It is very typical for small children to stay close to their caregiver in any new situation and especially so during the multiple periods of separation anxiety of the first couple of years. Early childhood educators are trained to expect this and would not want you to push your toddler or older child to participate. As for other parents or grandparents, they have likely been in the same situation, or in another activity, and they are on your side!

Commonly, it takes a few sessions for children to feel at home in a new space, with new people, new sights and sounds. Anxiety is a normal response and staying close to a trusted adult is a typical response. Allow your child time to become familiar with the space and reassure them verbally and physically.  There are other things you can do to help your child feel more comfortable:

  • Arrive early if you can. Walking into an activity which has already started is stressful for anyone. By arriving early, your child has time to meet the facilitator or teacher, see the space before many adults and children arrive, and experience the space before additional sounds and other stimuli are added.
  • Guided by the leader, find a spot where you can observe others arriving and talk to your child about what they are seeing: “Here comes a child with a blue shirt like yours”. “That child is sitting on a cushion like we are”. “That person has a baby like your sister”. Gentle observations, with no expectation of response from your child. If they point to something or make a comment, reflect that observation back to them: “Yes – that child has a teddy too”. If they comment on sights or sounds in the space, acknowledge these too: “Yes, the music is playing. It is loud”. “The children are running around. We are sitting down.”. Allow time to just observe.
  • Participate yourself. Gently sing the welcome song while your child sits on your lap. Take part in an activity holding your child on your hip or secure in a baby carrier. Talk to your child about what you are doing, what the teacher is doing, and what other families are doing.
  • Allow your child the space to begin participating in any way they wish. This might be gently bouncing on your lap instead of skipping around in the circle. It might be quietly making the animal sounds while everyone else acts them out more vigorously. Watch for subtle signs your child is engaged: a tapping foot when the music plays; rhythmic movement when others beat the drum; looking in the direction the teacher has indicated the children move to. Observation IS participation, just in a very subtle form.
  • Encourage engagement with small parts of the session that seem less overwhelming. If everyone is digging for bugs, sit with your child away from the main group and do a little digging yourselves. Watch the parachute go up and down while other children run under it and encourage your child to help you hold the edge. If everyone is painting rainbows, offer a pre-loaded paintbrush with just one colour and focus on that. Remember: process not product is most important. There will be plenty of make and take activities to put on the fridge one day – for now, focus on gentle experiences.
  • Follow up at home! This is my favourite way to engage reluctant children. Reproduce some of the activities in the security of home. Sing the songs from class: ask the teacher or Google for the lyrics. Improvise instruments that replicate those used or invest in a couple of inexpensive items like egg shakers or bells. Find some scarves in your wardrobe or op shop. Go digging for bugs in your own garden. Borrow books from the library that have been featured in story-time. Get out some blocks. Water your own garden. Do some simple messy play – outside makes it less stressful for you! Use the sessions you attend as inspiration for play at home. Rather than thinking your child should be learning, consider the classes as lessons for you in playing with your child!
  • If you find your child is still resisting participation a few weeks into term, then consider other factors. Is it too close to nap time for your child? Are they hungry? Is the space too big or too small for them to feel comfortable? Would an indoor activity – or an outdoor one! – suit them better?

    Are they more interested in building cubbies with sticks than towers with blocks? Dancing rather than singing? Art more than gymnastics? Sometimes it is the case of the right activity at the wrong time or the wrong activity at the right time! So, ask about different session times or explore alternative activities. Smaller groups. Quieter spaces. Different sensory stimulus.
  • Take a break for a term and try again. If your toddler is experiencing high separation anxiety right now (getting two-year-old molars; recovering from illness; a new house or sibling or other big changes) it might be case of leave it for now and start over next term. Ask around if friends or family might take over your place in class or ask the teacher if there are families on a waiting list who might love your space! It’s okay to revise and revisit activities: remember the activity is for the child. If it isn’t working, then they are not enjoying it or learning.

At the end of the day, formal activities are additional to unstructured play at home. Classes and groups are as much about social connection for parents as they are learning opportunities for toddlers. They should be things you want to do, not something you feel you must do. Choose activities you feel comfortable engaging in – your child will pick up on your responses and if you are having fun, then they will start to as well. And before you know it, you will both be eager to get to class and take part in all the fun!


Yvette O’Dowd is not your typical grandmother! This mother of three and Granny of two has been a breastfeeding counsellor for more than 25 years. In 2014, Yvette established the Southern Natural Parenting Network, incorporating South Eastern Babywearing Group. With 8000 members world-wide, the group supports parents interested in breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, baby-led weaning and modern cloth nappies – and other aspects of gentle, natural parenting. Yvette has lived in Frankston for 45 years. 

www.facebook.com/SouthernNaturalParentingNetwork

Peninsula Kids – Spring 2019

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The Dromana Community Market aims to provide growers, producers and merchants a unique outlet to sell direct to the public while promoting the benefits of [...]
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Events on December 1, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
1 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 2, 2023
02 Dec
Red Hill Community Market
2 Dec 23
Red Hill
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
2 Dec 23
Chadstone
02 Dec
Peninsula Toy Run
2 Dec 23
Rosebud
Events on December 3, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
3 Dec 23
Chadstone
Crib Point Fire Brigade open day for all
Crib Point Fire Brigade open day for all
3 Dec 23
Crib Point
Events on December 4, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
4 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 5, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
5 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 6, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
6 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 7, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
7 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 8, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
8 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 9, 2023
09 Dec
Little Beauty Market
9 Dec 23
Frankston
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
9 Dec 23
Chadstone
09 Dec
Music in the Park 2023
9 Dec 23
Mornington
Events on December 10, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
10 Dec 23
Chadstone
10 Dec
Carols by Kingston
10 Dec 23
Chelsea
Events on December 11, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
11 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 12, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
12 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 13, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
13 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 14, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
14 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 15, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
15 Dec 23
Chadstone
15 Dec
Sunset Twilight Market - Friday's at the Waterfront
15 Dec 23
Frankston
15 Dec
Somerville Christmas Carols
15 Dec 23
Somerville
Events on December 16, 2023
16 Dec
Emu Plains Market
16 Dec 23
Balnarring
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
16 Dec 23
Chadstone
Mornington Racecourse Twilight Market
Mornington Racecourse Twilight Market
16 Dec 23
Mornington
Events on December 17, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
17 Dec 23
Chadstone
17 Dec
Mornington's Christmas Festival
17 Dec 23
Mornington
17 Dec
Monthly Repair Workshop
17 Dec 23
HASTINGS
more...
Events on December 18, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
18 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 19, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
19 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 20, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
20 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 21, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
21 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 22, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
22 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 23, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
23 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 24, 2023
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
Holiday Bricktacular is sleighing at LEGOLAND® Discovery Centre Yule love it!
24 Dec 23
Chadstone
Events on December 30, 2023
30 Dec
Dromana Community Market
30 Dec 23
Dromana
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Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my!

Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays.

Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience!

Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences.

“The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine
"Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times
"Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review

MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN
Frankston Arts Centre
Tuesday 23 September, 2pm
Tuesday 23 September, 6pm
Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance)
Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm
Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75)

Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060

Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac 
#frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
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Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my! Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays. Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience! Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences. “The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine "Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times "Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN Frankston Arts Centre Tuesday 23 September, 2pm Tuesday 23 September, 6pm Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance) Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75) Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060 Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac #frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
16 hours ago
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1/9
Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/

@chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
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Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page. https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/ @chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
4 days ago
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2/9
No rest for the weary! 📚🥹
#bookweek
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No rest for the weary! 📚🥹 #bookweek
4 days ago
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3/9
Mid Winter Sale
Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes
20% off any purchase*
Hurry offer ends 31/8/25
The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula
Bayside Shoes
103 Railway Parade, Seaford
Ph 9785 1887
https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/

*excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only.

@bayside_shoe_warehouse 
#midwintersale
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Mid Winter Sale Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes 20% off any purchase* Hurry offer ends 31/8/25 The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula Bayside Shoes 103 Railway Parade, Seaford Ph 9785 1887 https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/ *excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only. @bayside_shoe_warehouse #midwintersale
1 week ago
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4/9
🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱
@regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films 
#futurecouncil
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🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱 @regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films #futurecouncil
2 weeks ago
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5/9
Tahnee Driver initially dismissed her bloating as a possible food intolerance — maybe gluten. But six weeks ago, everything changed when the 39-year-old mother of two was urged to go to hospital after several days of being unable to keep food down. Then, following an MRI, she received a devastating diagnosis: bowel cancer. 

Read more: https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/08/06/tahnee-faces-battle-with-stage-4-bowel-cancer
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Tahnee Driver initially dismissed her bloating as a possible food intolerance — maybe gluten. But six weeks ago, everything changed when the 39-year-old mother of two was urged to go to hospital after several days of being unable to keep food down. Then, following an MRI, she received a devastating diagnosis: bowel cancer. Read more: https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/08/06/tahnee-faces-battle-with-stage-4-bowel-cancer
2 weeks ago
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6/9
🕵️🕵️🕵️
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🕵️🕵️🕵️
2 weeks ago
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7/9
It’s the globally popular video game that’s captured the attention of more than 141 million active players, but Minecraft can also play a significant role in shaping children’s development, social interactions, and cognitive learning.

Read more via the link:

https://peninsulakids.com.au/minecraft-a-gamechanger-for-childrens-learning/

#minecraft #learning #peninsulakidsmagazine #articles #education
•
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It’s the globally popular video game that’s captured the attention of more than 141 million active players, but Minecraft can also play a significant role in shaping children’s development, social interactions, and cognitive learning. Read more via the link: https://peninsulakids.com.au/minecraft-a-gamechanger-for-childrens-learning/ #minecraft #learning #peninsulakidsmagazine #articles #education
2 weeks ago
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8/9
Mornington Peninsula Indoor Soccer

Come play futsal at the Civic Centre in Mornington. MPIS strives to provide an environment for kids to feel safe, enjoy the game whatever their level, and make new friends.

Register your team's interest here:
https://www.mpindoorsoccer.com.au/

#mornpen #soccer #indoorsoccer #mornpenindoorsoccer #mpis
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Mornington Peninsula Indoor Soccer Come play futsal at the Civic Centre in Mornington. MPIS strives to provide an environment for kids to feel safe, enjoy the game whatever their level, and make new friends. Register your team's interest here: https://www.mpindoorsoccer.com.au/ #mornpen #soccer #indoorsoccer #mornpenindoorsoccer #mpis
2 weeks ago
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9/9
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