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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»How to illuminate your child’s innate strengths and abilities
Parenting Articles

How to illuminate your child’s innate strengths and abilities

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By Brooklyn Storme

Growing up on the Mornington Peninsula with my mum and five younger siblings was interesting, to say the least. I remember loving my after school activities very much! For me, it was all about ballet and calisthenics. Every night after school I’d come home and I’d give myself carpet burn on the balls of my feet from all the practising I did on the rug on our lounge room. To say that I loved it would be an understatement!

My brother on the hand did not love dance. He loved tennis and so he’d be off doing that. I remember being really interested in why he liked it so much and then one of my sisters decided she wanted to try it and of course then; I panicked that I’d miss out if I didn’t try it too. So off we all went and I did give it a go but it just didn’t light me up the same as dancing did, so I stuck to that.

And now I’m in my mid 40’s and I look back at those times and I think I should really give my mum a massive high-five for doing such a great job. You see, she didn’t push us to do anything that we didn’t want to. She allowed us to find our flow and encouraged us to tap into our own unique gifts from a strengths-based framework. Good on you Mum!

Strengths-based parenting is really about focussing on your child’s positive values and beliefs as well as on their interests or abilities. Positive values such as compassion, generosity, kindness of spirit and honesty are examples of areas of strength that we want to try and cultivate. Special interests are also unique to your child and may include any interest they having in pursuing creative, active or cognitive areas, for example.

According to psychological research, a strength has three components. These include: Use (best thought of the child’s natural tendency to want to use that strength), energy (using the strength results in the child feeling inspired, happy, energised and excited) and performance (the child is good at the activity they are doing / interested in).

Research shows that when parents give attention to their child’s strengths, the impact is that the child feels more inspired, energetic, happy, open to new experiences and more resilient. It can absolutely be tempting to compare your child’s performance to other children their age but doing so can have negative consequences for them both short and long term.
It can affect their self-esteem, reduce their confidence, increase the child’s stress and impact their mental health in unwanted ways.

1. Be consistent

One of the key ways that children receive information is by watching you. They are watching and learning from you even when you think they’re not! So by role modelling the good values, the better beliefs and the desired behaviours your little one will be more likely to pick them up.

2. Experience

If your child expresses an interest in an activity like sport, chess, spelling, art, dance or any other reasonable thing, supporting them to have their own experience of it will really help them to identify if it is an ongoing interest and from there, opportunities can be created for them to build their confidence and self-esteem.

3. Words of encouragement

Be a detective at home and keep an eye (and ear) out for any examples of positive values or beliefs being expressed. If your child shares her snack with her brother, acknowledge it. If they apologise to someone without being asked, praise that behaviour. By providing positive feedback you will be more likely to increase these behaviours occurring and help your child to develop clarity around positive behaviours.

4. Pairing

It’s fabulous to praise a child when they demonstrate a great behaviour but we can dive a bit deeper by pairing this feedback with an acknowledgement of the matching inner strength that was exhibited during the action by your child. For example, if your child sees others picking on a friend in the playground and goes to comfort him, you might say “thank you for helping” but a paired approach would also add, “that was very understanding of you” / “that was very kind of you” / “that was very compassionate of you”. We acknowledge the behaviour and the strength.

I hope this article was a useful read and gives you a new perspective on a parenting approach that might be a good fit for your family. As someone that was raised under this framework, I can say that it was by living a life that was aligned with my passions and interests and by having a parent foster my inner strengths, I’m all the better for it.

Thanks Mum.


Dr. Brooklyn Storme, PhD is the Director and head psychologist at All Psyched Up, a mindfulness-based allied health practice on the Mornington Peninsula. When she’s not at work, she’s usually teaching Gabe new tricks or spiking up his purple Mohawk.

Facebook: allpsychedup  |  Ph: 8765 2434

Peninsula Kids – Autumn 2019

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Epson launches four new EcoTank printers as sales top 100 million and the company remains number one in large ink tank printer sales. EcoTank inkjet printers are world leaders in providing improved productivity for homes and small businesses for a number of reasons. Firstly, they come with up to two years’ worth of ink in the box, so you don’t need to worry about suddenly running out or constantly ordering replacements. This also means less user intervention due to fewer replaceable parts, giving you back time to invest in yourself and your business. There is zero warm-up time and a very fast first page out time with EcoTank printers and this, combined with their unique Heat-Free Technology, saves you time, energy, money and allows you greater flexibility for your home or small business. The new Epson EcoTank ET-4950, ET-3950, ET-3900 and ET-2950 printers come with a 24 month EcoTank Back to Base Warranty (12 month standard express warranty and an bonus additional 12 months upon registration) and are available now from https://www.epson.com.au/ecotank/, and all authorised Epson stockists. #epsonecotank #ad @epsonaust @Epson
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❄️ Winter is here! And along with it, a fresh edition on Peninsula Kids magazine. Enjoy flipping through the pages that celebrate the season’s highlights so that you can make the most of the frostier months with your loved ones. 🥰 🌬️ Link to read in bio ———————————————————————————— #peninsulakids #peninsulakidsmagazine #winter #lovepeninsulakids #mpgrown #local #pregnnacyandbaby #creative #education #health #spotlight #recipes
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Grab your cameras and hot choccies! Neon Fields returns to glow up Frankston! When the sun goes down it is time to gather family and friends and venture into Neon Fields. Beauty Park will once again be transformed into a colourful fantasy world where you’re invited to interact and play among the lights during this free event! —————————————————————————— #southsidefestival #neonfields #frankston #beautypark #visitfrankston #whatson #whatsonthisweekend #thingstodo #freeevent #photoops #lovepeninsulakids @southsidefestivalfrankston
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In July, Associate Professor Andrew Kornberg, Senior Neurologist at The RCH Foundation, will embark on a remarkable solo flight around Australia to raise $4.5 million for life-changing treatments for children with rare and complex conditions. Called Fly for the Kids, this one-of-a-kind fundraiser will help establish dedicated spaces, resources, and specialist staff at the RCH, making advanced therapies — including revolutionary gene therapy — more accessible to sick children across Australia. Andrew’s journey will see him revisit patients whose lives have been transformed by advanced therapies, putting real faces and stories to the incredible impact of this innovation in paediatric healthcare. You can learn more about the campaign here: https://flyforthekids.org.au @rch.foundation
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Breast Cancer Trials, ANZ’s largest oncology research group, is holding a ‘matched giving day’ on Thursday, 8th May where – for 24 hours only, donations from the public will be matched dollar for dollar by a group of generous supporters. Every dollar raised will be doubled to help fund clinical breast cancer research. How can people get involved: Donate online at breastcancertrials.org.au/givingday (this will go live On Thursday 8th May) Donate by calling 1800 423 444 Follow Breast Cancer Trials on socials and share their own stories, thanks and memories of their mums and mother-figures. @breastcancertrials
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