By Kristy Griffiths
New research reveals Aussie parents spend up to two working days a week trying to get their baby to sleep be that in a car, pram or rocking chair, and another full workday thinking about ways to improve it.
Australian research has revealed the complete obsession over baby sleep that is driving Aussie parents to distraction, with one in five (19%) spending up to two working days each week shooshing, patting or rocking their baby to sleep, and another one in five (19%) pounding the pavement for the same period in a bid to get their baby down. Of parents surveyed, as many as one in two Google ways to improve their babyβs sleep at least once a day, while 77% of parents admit to spending up to two hours each day just thinking about their babyβs sleep (or lack thereof!).
The findings also highlighted that while Dr Google provides parents with strategies to address their babyβs sleep challenges (61%), nearly 40% of parents acknowledged that the advice they sought β whether from Google or experts on their Instagram β made them feel worse not only about their babyβs sleep situation, but their parenting abilities, too.
Baby sleep expert and CuboAi sleep ambassador, Kristy Griffiths, says she’s not surprised by the research, given the amount of pressure new parents put on themselves when it comes to getting their baby to sleep, βThe shape of your day and sense of parenting failure or success should not be hinged on how many winks of sleep or how long your baby sleeps for,β she said. βWith over 60,000 results on Amazon when you search for Baby Sleep books, itβs little wonder parents are overwhelmed, obsessing to the point that theyβre starting to question their own parenting abilities,β she said.
So desperate for a single night of unbroken sleep, one in four parents admit they would be willing to spend upwards of $500 in exchange for a good nightβs rest, with one in 10 willing to spend more than $1,000. For those that admit theyβre onto a good routine, more than one in two (57%) admit theyβve used self-soothing items such as dummies, sleeping bags and bottles beyond the recommended age, from fear of disrupting a solid sleep routine with their baby.
βIt is perfectly normal for babies to wake in the night, and itβs incredibly important that in those first 6 to 12 months, there really will be no quick fix or one size fits all solution to addressing your babyβs sleep cycle,β Kristy says. βWhether youβve resorted to pram pushing, trips in the car or incessant rocking there really is a better way to address your babyβs sleep schedule and the anxieties around their sleep β and it starts with letting go.β
Kristy’s top tips for reducing your obsession with sleep and making it through those sleep-deprived days
Accept that itβs normal to feel anxious
It’s normal and completely natural to be overwhelmed with love for your new bundle of joy. The journey to parenthood is full-on and exhausting but when it comes to nap time, the last thing you want to do is take your eyes off them. However, it is super important that you get a break when you can, and not spend countless hours rocking, patting, or pushing the pram. Itβs absolutely OK to pop baby down in their cot and leave the room for five minutes to take a timeout from the relentlessness of resettling a baby. I always recommend investing in a quality monitor like the CuboAi Plus. Its best-in-class safety features like rollover detection and face-covering can help ease anxieties in the first sleep-deprived weeks and beyond, giving tired parents some much-needed peace of mind whilst in the throes of newborn sleep deprivation.
Set realistic goals
When it comes to making changes to your little oneβs sleep, start with small, realistic goals. This way they become achievable, and you are motivated to continue making changes rather than thinking it all becomes too hard and not making any at all. ie: if your baby is currently having 4-night feeds, dropping these all at once isn’t going to happen. We need to make it realistic and start with 2-3 feeds, once this is going well then move onto 1-2. Itβs important to focus on our small wins each and every day!
Try not to compare
Don’t compare your little one to anyone else’s baby when it comes to sleep. What works for one family may not work for another. So, while it may look all rosy on the other side of the fence their “normal” may not actually work for you and your baby. This also only creates more pressure for both parents and baby and leaves you feeling more anxious and questioning sleep yet again!
Give up on Dr Google!
Like Googling a medical condition, Google is good for vague and broad advice, but when it comes to the specifics of your babyβs sleep behaviours itβs going to provide very little tailored advice. If the situation is starting to cause you stress and the sleeplessness is impacting your mental wellbeing, I would highly encourage you to check-in with your GP or baby care team to ensure youβre getting the support you need to navigate this challenging period.
Be accepting that, some days, routine will go out the window β and thatβs OK!
Do not let the unpredictability of your baby’s sleep reflect on you and your mental health. I see so many successful and accomplished women who have lived by the clock via demanding corporate roles only to have their life turned upside down by a tiny little person who is blissfully unaware of the time of their supposed schedule. The first days are hard for everyone and putting pressure on yourself to adhere to a strict routine will just end in tears (usually for mum and bub). Babies don’t have the capacity for routines until around 12 weeks and, even then, it will be pretty “loose” so the sooner you accept this, the less stressful the unpredictability of your baby will become.
An oldie but a goodie … sleep when the baby sleeps!
Itβs probably something your own mother or nana harps on about, but with the business of life β especially with young children β it can often feel impossible to have a rest when the baby does, if youβre also juggling the demands of the household and other young children in your care. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a laundry pile the size of Kosciusko, or a toddler in front of the TV for the afternoon if it means you get to catch up on some rest. So instead of spending time researching ways to improve your babyβs sleep next time theyβre down for a nap, put the phone down and rest yourself. I promise youβll feel 100% better for it.
About the research
CuboAi commissioned Antenna Insights to conduct an online consumer survey in January 2022. The sample comprised of a nationally representative sample of 1,022 Australian parents. Following interviews, the data was weighted by age, gender and region to reflect the latest ABS population estimates.
Kristy Griffiths is The Sleep Teacher, CuboAi Ambassador, certified sleep trainer to the stars and a mum of 3 gorgeous girls. With personal experience with debilitating postpartum sleep deprivation, Kristy’s expertise covers all areas of sleep teaching, emphasising gentle child and infant sleep training. As a mum who has been there, Kristy is passionate about showing parents how easily their sleep can be fixed.