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Peninsula Kids
Home»Spotlight»So…you’re not a fan of your son’s girlfriend?
Spotlight

So…you’re not a fan of your son’s girlfriend?

Updated:May 31, 20246 Mins Read
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Everyone has their own unique set of quirks, personalities, interests, hobbies and values, so it’s not possible for you to be friends with everyone you meet. Most adults can comfortably get on with people who are not their friends as some people will always remain just colleagues or acquaintances. But what if the person you don’t get along with is your son’s girlfriend?

That’s a tricky one, isn’t it? Ideally you should get along with your son’s girlfriend, who could after all one day become your daughter-in-law. It’s not always the case, but it’s a good idea to maintain the relationship regardless of how you feel towards her.

Here are some steps parents can take to have a better relationship with their son’s girlfriend (or daughter’s boyfriend.)

Dig deep for the reason

Why do you dislike your son’s girlfriend? This is the first thing you need to figure out and do a bit of soul searching. Understanding your reason behind it will help you determine what the next step is to build a better connection with her.

Sometimes we just don’t click with certain people, and you might wonder incredulously what your son sees in her, but be aware of overstepping boundaries because even though he is your son, he’s now an adult and it’s a different relationship to when he was a child. The dynamic of a parent and adult-child relationship is very different, you need to let that umbilical cord out. Controlling your adult children’s choices can inhibit their resilience, development and growth if they are not able to experience life’s challenges for themselves and make their own life choices.

Also consider the possibility that what you don’t like in your son’s girlfriend is something that needs to be healed within you that is being reflected back at you. For example, should you find her disrespectful then maybe look closely at how much respect you are giving yourself.
Be fair to his girlfriend and make sure you’ve had a proper conversation with her. Many people often find that having an authentic chat improves their perception of the other person.

“She’s not good enough for my son.”

If one of the things that you have against your son’s girlfriend is that you think she’s not good enough, you must be on your guard because you could be compromising the boundaries between you and your son.

An enmeshed family dynamic is when family relationships lack boundaries and parents can inhibit their children from becoming emotionally independent. Enmeshment is a dysfunctional family dynamic that tends to span across generations because we tend to create the family dynamics that we grew up with because they’re familiar to us and we feel safe. As much as families should be close, we also need boundaries in our families to create both physical and emotional space that’s reflective of respect for everyone’s feelings and needs.

When there’s a genuine cause for concern

Abuse can present in many forms, not just physical abuse or sexual abuse. We often think of abuse in relationships as males abusing females but the opposite can occur as well. It can take the form of emotional, verbal or even financial abuse, and it can be extremely subtle.

Witnessing someone with a controlling partner can be difficult for all concerned. Let your son know that you’re there for him. Don’t judge or criticise him. Toxic relationships are imbalanced. One person dominates and the other accommodates. This is very common in situations where a person may be exhibiting coercive control in a very sinister yet subtle way which is often not noticeable to others.

Parents have an innate ability to see through coercive behaviour and the damage it inflicts before others recognise what is happening. People that engage in coercive behaviour use this to their advantage to slowly isolate their partner, especially from his family.

Rather than look for ways to bring the family together, they often actively undermine their partner’s family relationships isolating their partner from them. However, realise that we cannot make somebody see what they don’t want to see. You cannot force him to leave his relationship. However, you can be there to support him by listening to him, and when he’s ready, help him to access help.

Find a common interest with her

If you’ve had a proper conversation with your son’s partner surely you must have found at least one thing that you find interesting about her. Use that as your stepping stone towards bonding with her. Having something in common will likely improve your opinion of her, as well as your relationship with her.

State your concerns

Communication in relationships is important and you are certainly encouraged to speak to your son about your feelings towards his girlfriend. Before you have that conversation with him, gather your thoughts properly and find the right time and words to talk to him. Have that conversation with him calmly, and just once. More than once is unnecessary. Remember you are purely a guide and it should ultimately be your son’s decision as it is his life.

It’s not a good idea to issue an ultimatum making your son choose between his girlfriend and you. Ultimatums create unnecessary stress and potential divide within families forcing your son or daughter to make a choice. Remember you could stand to lose your child in the process. It’s much better to communicate openly and authentically and share your concerns—once. Part of maintaining your relationship with your son or daughter could be knowing when to drop the discussion. Agree to disagree.

Be there for your son

Ideally you would get along with your son’s partner and you certainly don’t ever want to be known as the mother-in-law from hell! As adults, we can all take steps towards being polite and interested in each other, even if we are not destined to be best friends. Relationships can still prosper if everyone observes boundaries and remains committed to the person in common, which is your son.

Ultimately, working on the relationship you have with yourself and empowering those relationships you have with your children and their partners with open authentic conversations can lead to growth for all concerned as boundaries are clearly communicated, with no one’s needs being sidelined.



Elizabeth Jane is an Australian artist, author and public speaker.
She uses a selection of painting media in her art, including acrylic oil and water colour. Digital and canvas versions of her art are available for purchase through her website. Jane’s debut book, ‘Free and First—Unlocking Your Ultimate Life’, was written as part of her healing process following her divorce, which ended a 25-year marriage. Jane aims to develop wellness centres and healing sanctuaries focused on helping people to recover from relationship breakdowns and other life issues.

elizabethjane.com.au

As published in Peninsula Kids – Winter 2024

Girlfriend Relationships Teen
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👀😮 Ooooh..this looks gooooood. Has anyone read the book? Betrayal and revenge come knocking on The Family Next Door this August! The ABC, Screen Australia and VicScreen are pleased to announce the thrilling six-part suburban mystery drama series The Family Next Door will premiere on Sunday 10 August at 8pm on ABC TV, with all episodes available to stream on ABC iview. It’s peak holiday season in the popular seaside town of Osprey Point when an enigmatic stranger, Isabelle (Palmer) rents a family home in a quiet cul-de-sac. As Isabelle charms her way into her neighbours’ homes and lives, she quickly discovers that everyone at Pleasant Court has something to hide. How far will her obsessive drive to solve a mystery push her to expose the truth? Based on New York Times bestselling Australian author Sally Hepworth’s novel of the same name, this sophisticated and entertaining mystery blends drama and humour while exploring family dynamics through the unique lens of award-winning screenwriter Sarah Scheller (Strife, The Letdown) and Emma Freeman’s (The Newsreader, Interview with the Vampire) character-driven directorial skills. #abciview #sallyhepworth #thefamilynextdoor
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Bring the kids to experience live theatre at Frankston Arts Centre in August! An instant Australian classic, Beetle by Legs On The Wall tells the story of a child who finds a friend in her backyard; together they embark on an adventure to search for his family, the now elusive Christmas Beetle. The magic of the bush habitat is brought to life through Legs On The Wall’s trademark physical storytelling, and animation created from original artworks by beloved children’s author and illustrator Freya Blackwood. A tale of resilience and hope, Beetle reminds young audiences that there’s an important place in the world for all of us. Reminding us of the delicate balance of the natural world and that all things are connected. This charming, nostalgic and uniquely Australian show invites children and families to join the adventure, encountering larger than life beetles, stick insects, and other bush critters while finding out about the uncanny nature and delicate balance of the bush environment. See it on Friday 22 August at 11am or 6pm at Frankston Arts Centre. Tickets are available at thefac.com.au or by calling 03 9784 1060. #whatson #fac #kidstheatre #frankstonartscentre #beetlebylegsonthewall @the_fac
2 days ago
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2/9
Pretty much!
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Pretty much!
4 days ago
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3/9
Epson launches four new EcoTank printers as sales top 100 million and the company remains number one in large ink tank printer sales.

EcoTank inkjet printers are world leaders in providing improved productivity for homes and small businesses for a number of reasons.

Firstly, they come with up to two years’ worth of ink in the box, so you don’t need to worry about suddenly running out or constantly ordering replacements. This also means less user intervention due to fewer replaceable parts, giving you back time to invest in yourself and your business.

There is zero warm-up time and a very fast first page out time with EcoTank printers and this, combined with their unique Heat-Free Technology, saves you time, energy, money and allows you greater flexibility for your home or small business.

The new Epson EcoTank ET-4950, ET-3950, ET-3900 and ET-2950 printers come with a 24 month EcoTank Back to Base Warranty (12 month standard express warranty and an bonus additional 12 months upon registration) and are available now from https://www.epson.com.au/ecotank/, and all authorised Epson stockists.

#epsonecotank #ad @epsonaust @Epson
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Epson launches four new EcoTank printers as sales top 100 million and the company remains number one in large ink tank printer sales. EcoTank inkjet printers are world leaders in providing improved productivity for homes and small businesses for a number of reasons. Firstly, they come with up to two years’ worth of ink in the box, so you don’t need to worry about suddenly running out or constantly ordering replacements. This also means less user intervention due to fewer replaceable parts, giving you back time to invest in yourself and your business. There is zero warm-up time and a very fast first page out time with EcoTank printers and this, combined with their unique Heat-Free Technology, saves you time, energy, money and allows you greater flexibility for your home or small business. The new Epson EcoTank ET-4950, ET-3950, ET-3900 and ET-2950 printers come with a 24 month EcoTank Back to Base Warranty (12 month standard express warranty and an bonus additional 12 months upon registration) and are available now from https://www.epson.com.au/ecotank/, and all authorised Epson stockists. #epsonecotank #ad @epsonaust @Epson
2 weeks ago
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4/9
2026 kinder registrations are now open!
If your child turns three or four by 30 April next year, they are eligible to attend kinder!

Register before 2 July 2025: www.mornpen.vic.gov.au/kindergarten

#kinder #kinderregistration2026
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2026 kinder registrations are now open! If your child turns three or four by 30 April next year, they are eligible to attend kinder! Register before 2 July 2025: www.mornpen.vic.gov.au/kindergarten #kinder #kinderregistration2026
2 weeks ago
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5/9
Elmo’s Circus Dream, a dazzling new live stage spectacular making its world premiere at Caulfield Racecourse these upcoming July School Holidays from June 27th to August 3rd, 2025.

Tickets and information: https://www.sesamestreetcircus.com.au/

#sesamestreetcircus 

@sesamestreetcircus 
@cavanaghpr
mornpenkids
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Elmo’s Circus Dream, a dazzling new live stage spectacular making its world premiere at Caulfield Racecourse these upcoming July School Holidays from June 27th to August 3rd, 2025. Tickets and information: https://www.sesamestreetcircus.com.au/ #sesamestreetcircus @sesamestreetcircus @cavanaghpr
1 month ago
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6/9
❄️ Winter is here! And along with it, a fresh edition on Peninsula Kids magazine. Enjoy flipping through the pages that celebrate the season’s highlights so that you can make the most of the frostier months with your loved ones. 🥰
🌬️ Link to read in bio
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#peninsulakids #peninsulakidsmagazine #winter #lovepeninsulakids #mpgrown #local #pregnnacyandbaby #creative #education #health #spotlight #recipes
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❄️ Winter is here! And along with it, a fresh edition on Peninsula Kids magazine. Enjoy flipping through the pages that celebrate the season’s highlights so that you can make the most of the frostier months with your loved ones. 🥰 🌬️ Link to read in bio ———————————————————————————— #peninsulakids #peninsulakidsmagazine #winter #lovepeninsulakids #mpgrown #local #pregnnacyandbaby #creative #education #health #spotlight #recipes
1 month ago
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7/9
#thinkingofyou
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#thinkingofyou
2 months ago
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8/9
Grab your cameras and hot choccies! Neon Fields returns to glow up Frankston!
When the sun goes down it is time to gather family and friends and venture into Neon Fields. Beauty Park will once again be transformed into a colourful fantasy world where you’re invited to interact and play among the lights during this free event!
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#southsidefestival #neonfields #frankston #beautypark #visitfrankston #whatson #whatsonthisweekend #thingstodo #freeevent #photoops #lovepeninsulakids 
@southsidefestivalfrankston
mornpenkids
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Grab your cameras and hot choccies! Neon Fields returns to glow up Frankston! When the sun goes down it is time to gather family and friends and venture into Neon Fields. Beauty Park will once again be transformed into a colourful fantasy world where you’re invited to interact and play among the lights during this free event! —————————————————————————— #southsidefestival #neonfields #frankston #beautypark #visitfrankston #whatson #whatsonthisweekend #thingstodo #freeevent #photoops #lovepeninsulakids @southsidefestivalfrankston
2 months ago
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9/9
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