By Lauren Marie
What happens when a career-driven, ambitious entrepreneur falls pregnant and starts a family? Often times, she becomes a mumpreneur or ‘supermum’ and sometimes both!
The same fire that was lit still burns inside her after the children come. She still strives to create, to work, to be there for all the juicy moments of childhood; to do it all.
The upside of being superwoman is you get to perform minor miracles all the time. Just yesterday I launched a new product, interviewed for an online summit, booked a venue for my upcoming masterclass in London, kept my three-year-old twins from drowning each other in the bathtub, took care of a sick hubby and a blocked gutter before the garage roof came down!
As super-mumpreneur people say to you all the time, “I don’t know how you do it all.” The answer normally is, “I just do it. It’s no big deal.”
The problem sets in when the mum is working herself to the bone, doing everything for everyone else around her, and never including herself in the picture. And it’s never enough! At the end of the day, she’ll think of all the laundry that didn’t get folded, the calls that didn’t get made, and the deadlines she missed.
We define being a ‘super mum’ as everything we think we are not. Notice that we never acknowledge ourselves for the miracles we perform…. it’s always the things we believe we are not doing good enough, or the things we don’t enjoy doing but believe we ‘should’ do.
This level of constant self-judgment can lead to burn out, fatigue, and even health problems, anxiety or depression.
We can take a lot of the responsibility on to make sure our children have the best lives possible, that they get every opportunity in life.
Parents are looking from the outside in, at what other people’s judgments of ‘good” parents are around them. This could be attending every school activity, helping their kids do homework every night, or whatever else is considered “right” to do in their community.
What if parents stopped caring how they were seen and looked at what would actually work for their family? Here are some tips for getting out of the mumpreneur perfectionism trap:
1. Acknowledge ‘what is’ with no judgment
This got done. This didn’t get done. My children screamed in the middle of my conference call for 45 minutes. I finally got that article written.
I spent more than I wanted to on an airfare because I waited too long to book the flight.
Everything that occurs is neither right nor wrong, good nor bad, it just is what it is. Judging what happens only serves to lock it in place and doesn’t allow you to create beyond it.
2. Ask for something greater daily
When you have disappointments, ask, “How does it get any better than this?” When you have big wins, ask, “How does it get any better than this?” If you’re constantly asking for greater, then greater will show up.
But remember, it never looks like you think it is going to!
3. Throw away your to-do list
Ever notice that the things you want to get done always get done? And the things that sit on your to-do list are reasons you have to judge yourself? What if you woke up and asked, “Okay, what 3-5 things require my attention or energy today? Where can I put my energy that will create the most?” And then make those projects or people a priority.
The truth is, being a mumpreneur can get messy: sick children, unreliable babysitters, last minute emergencies. Let your business life as well as your family life be chaotic.
Don’t try to put order where there is chaos. Use that chaos to create! Show up for your commitments, but also follow the organic nature of what occurs throughout the day.
Things change constantly. You want to be working with the flow, not against it. Let it be easy on you. Allow others to judge you as imperfect. They will anyway!
What if it didn’t matter? What if you could teach your children they don’t have to give up any part of them to be right in someone else’s eyes? And set that example for them now, simply by being you!
Lauren Marie is a Joy of Business facilitator, acupuncturist, entrepreneur and mother of twins. She travels worldwide, facilitating classes and changing her clients’ point of view about life, health and business. A passionate creator and conscious rule-breaker, Lauren seeks to inspire other mothers to see the possibilities others overlook and to embrace every challenge and choice that parenthood brings.