By Amanda Stokes
The Tween years can be a challenging time as a parent, as your once compliant daughter rolls her eyes at the idea of being told to hang up her towel, let alone helping empty the dishwasher. As challenging as this new-found attitude is, the Tweenage years are an incredibly important time because itโs an opportunity to set up clear expectations as a family and on an individual level too. It would be wonderful if our daughters became resilient and self-aware by osmosis, but unfortunately life doesnโt work that way.ย
Here are my five tips for raising strong, connected, empowered and self-aware tween daughters:
1. Encourage reflection and responsibility:
We all play a role, so itโs important that we help our daughters to understand theirs. Iโm a big believer that there are three sides to every story- one side, the other side and the truth. The story we tell ourselves is the one that leads to our view of the world.
I think itโs incredibly important we help our daughters develop their perspective. We want them to become participants in their lives, not victims of circumstance.
2. Lead with self-compassion:
This is an important one. As humans we are innately flawed. Itโs just part of life, we all make mistakes and weโre meant to.
We need to empower our daughters to understand that itโs not our challenges that define us, but rather the way we rise up after a fall.
3. Find better ways to communicate:
The Tween years are the beginning of our daughters becoming less open with us. As parents, itโs a really great time to get creative! Start a journal thatโs just between the two of you, leave her notes to find, plan a date, think outside the box.
4. Be a supporter of other women:
So often our girls start comparing themselves to others. They feel envious of otherโs achievements; they feel like if someone else is good at something then that makes them less so. We need to teach our girls that there is not a finite amount of goodness out there. We can encourage our daughters to celebrate others by role modelling first and becoming supporters of other women.
5. Understanding you control your inner voice:
Our thoughts lead to our feelings which lead to our actions.
We need to help our daughters understand this and provide supportive opportunities for them to reflect and challenge their thinking. Itโs incredible to think that often our girls arenโt connected to their inner voice. There is so much power in understanding that we are in control of thoughts, and through practice, we can help our daughters create a kinder, more optimistic self talk.
Amanda is an educator, presenter and mother to three and the Founder of Raising Strong Daughters. Her second book โThe Tween Motherโs Tool Book: Raising Strong Daughtersโ, is a practical, easy to use activity based guide that covers moods, friendship, body image, self acceptance and so much more.
If you are the parent of a tween girl, then this tool book is one youโll want in your parenting tool kit!
You can also follow her on Instagram at www.instagram.com/raisingstrongdaughters_
