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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»What they hear
Parenting Articles

What they hear

Updated:July 14, 20215 Mins Read
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How innocent comments can harm your child

By Dr Karen Phillip

Saying critical things within earshot of your toddler can be harmful.

Any unfavourable comment regarding a child’s actions or behaviour can embed in your child’s mind as being correct. A child is only learning who they are, what they can do, how good or bad they are, and if they are loved and accepted unconditionally.

All these feelings accelerate and embed between ages two to five. Most parents want the very best for their child. They want their child to grow and develop into caring, kind, confident and balanced little people.

How things can be confused in the child’s mind

If our child can hear us, the things we say can have such a negative effect, unintentionally, especially if we think we are protecting them. Many parents believe truth is essential, and while this is correct, colouring in the truth is sometimes better for the toddler to hear.

With Poppy saying, ‘Wow you should have seen him eat his dinner with his spoon today, so clever’. A parent responding with, ‘Gosh that’s great. He makes such a shocking mess when he does it with me’.

Nana says, ‘Wow she was incredible doing her spinning dance today’. A parent responding with, ‘Fabulous, she usually falls flat on her face when she does it here’.

Perhaps even a comment such as Nana saying, ‘He swam in the pool today all by himself with his bubble on; He was so brave and clever’. A parent responding with, ‘Yes tremendous but I bet he won’t do it in the big pool, he will be scared in the big pool compared to your smaller pool’.

All these parent comments can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-belief and confidence. With kids around, walls have ears. Even when they are sleeping their subconscious mind remains attentive. Therefore, saying things in front of a sleeping child can be heard within the subconscious and create a misinformed self-belief.

How about changing a negative into a positive

We know the parent comments above are truthful, for the parent, not for the child. We want our children to believe they can do anything. We need them to know they have the excellent ability when they try; succeeding or not is irrelevant. These are the positive steps a child needs to hear.

A parent recently commented to me their partner catastrophise everything. If something small went wrong, then the whole world and life were unfair.

If a child was in a bad mood or threw a little ‘tantie’, they were hysterical — most times with the child within earshot. While a child may not understand the word hysterical, the manner of delivery can be sensed. Young children have an uncanny way to read body language and hear tonality which is somewhat concerning at times.

Parents, once aware of this, can adjust their language statements and turn fear and negativity into positive reinforcement.

Negative comments can be modified to mean the same thing yet sound so incredibly positive for the child, such as in these three examples:

  • You ate your dinner and got it in your mouth today at Poppy’s. My goodness how clever and grown-up you are becoming.
  • Wow, you did your spinning dance today and stayed on your feet. That is so tricky to do, and you did it this time. Congratulations you clever girl.
  • Incredible. You swam all by yourself in the pool. I can’t wait for you to show us that when we go to the big pool.

Regardless of whether your child makes a mess at dinner, slips when spinning or is a little apprehensive in the larger pool, the message remains constant. Your child is capable, tries hard and sometimes makes it.

Building self-belief, self-confidence and self-esteem can be relatively easy if parents get their responses right. (And we all want that for our kids.)

Listen to what you say. Agree with your partner that if either of you is heard to say a negative comment, a gentle reword or “what daddy/mummy meant to say was ….. “and allow this gentle reminder to help you adjust your perhaps habitual negative responses.

Imagine having your child develop with such confident self-belief.

You can.


Dr Karen Phillip has been a Counselling Psychotherapist for almost two decades, and a professional Clinical Hypnotherapist for over 10 years.

Karen is an expert in the fields of relationships, parenting and communications and has helped thousands of couples and families resolve problems ranging from communication conflicts to parenting issues. Karen is qualified in many areas and is the family therapist on many television and radio programs. She is an International Author, Key Note Speaker and Trainer.

Karen has private rooms and does a considerable amount of work over Skype or Zoom working with people from all around the world needing a fast, effective way to correct personal issues, behaviours and relationships.

You can find out more about Dr Karen at www.drkarenphillip.com

Peninsula Kids – Winter 2020

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Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
11 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 12, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
12 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 13, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
13 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 14, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
14 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 15, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
15 Aug 25
Melbourne
15 Aug
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
Future Council Q&A with Damon Gameau & Special Guests
15 Aug 25
Rosebud
Events on August 16, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
16 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 17, 2025
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
17 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 19, 2025
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
19 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
Events on August 23, 2025
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
AFLW - Hawthorn v Carlton
23 Aug 25
Frankston
Events on August 30, 2025
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
Under The Sea Roller Disco at Sk8house
30 Aug 25
Carrum Downs
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ABOUT

Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. 
Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. 
Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/

@acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
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The countdown is on, school holidays are just around the corner and Acro Kids is the place to be! 22nd September – 3rd October in Mornington and Braeside. Reinvented full day programs designed for beginners to advanced skills, kids will learn wicked acro and parkour tricks and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/ @acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
2 days ago
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1/9
FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print!

https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit

#fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
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FREE Father’s Day printable questionnaire. Just download form and print! https://peninsulakids.com.au/wp-admin/post.php?post=17344&action=edit #fathersday #questionnaire #aboutmydad
3 days ago
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2/9
Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions?
We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up!

ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
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Have you entered our Things We Love winter competitions? We're choosing winners Monday, so hurry up! ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/winter-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/9
The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend!

Get your tickets here:

https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D

Please Note
Junior Policy:
Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry.
Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult.

@hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW 
#aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
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The Hawks are back in Frankston this weekend! Get your tickets here: https://www.ticketmaster.com.au/hawthorn-v-carlton-2025-nab-aflw-season-10-frankston-23-08-2025/event/130062D7A58C195D Please Note Junior Policy: Children aged 0-17 as at 1 January 2025 are entitled to enter the ground at no charge; however, they must hold a valid ticket for entry. Persons aged 18 and over as at 1 January 2025 are classified as an adult. @hawthornaflw Hawthorn FC AFLW #aflw #kineticstadium #frankston
7 days ago
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4/9
Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my!

Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays.

Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience!

Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences.

“The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine
"Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times
"Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review

MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN
Frankston Arts Centre
Tuesday 23 September, 2pm
Tuesday 23 September, 6pm
Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance)
Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm
Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75)

Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060

Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac 
#frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
•
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Robots and magic and slapstick… oh my! Following appearances on Sesame Street, Universal Kids, and on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Mario the Maker Magician heads to Frankston next school holidays. Contagiously upbeat and full of heart, the ever-endearing Mario leads you through a romping explosion of energy and belly laughs punctuated with moments of heart and emotion that will catch you by surprise. Not "just a kids show", this is an all-ages theatre experience! Prepare for a world of vaudeville and magic, cardboard and robots, science and innovation, instilling a positive message that will last in the minds and hearts of all audiences. “The best kids’ magician in the world!!”- David Blaine "Magic with a soupçon of science." - The New York Times "Instant and infectious chaos in the best possible way" - One4Review MARIO THE MAKER MAGICIAN Frankston Arts Centre Tuesday 23 September, 2pm Tuesday 23 September, 6pm Wednesday 24 September, 10.30am (Relaxed Performance) Wednesday 24 September, 1.30pm Tickets: $20 (Family of 4: $75) Book at thefac.com.au or call 03 9784 1060 Frankston Arts Centre @the_fac #frankstonartscentre #magic #familyshows #thingstodowithkids
1 week ago
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5/9
Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page.

https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/

@chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
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Chasing Change, in partnership with Mornington Peninsula Shire, are holding our annual Walk for Suicide Prevention on Sunday the 14th of September. We hope that you can join us to gather, connect and remember our loved ones lost to suicide. You can find more details, including a link to register the name of a loved one for our memorial roll call, on their event page. https://www.facebook.com/share/16wCzifSWR/ @chasingchangeau Chasing Change - Suicide Prevention Network
1 week ago
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6/9
No rest for the weary! 📚🥹
#bookweek
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No rest for the weary! 📚🥹 #bookweek
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Mid Winter Sale
Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes
20% off any purchase*
Hurry offer ends 31/8/25
The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula
Bayside Shoes
103 Railway Parade, Seaford
Ph 9785 1887
https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/

*excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only.

@bayside_shoe_warehouse 
#midwintersale
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Mid Winter Sale Men's Womens, Children, School Shoes 20% off any purchase* Hurry offer ends 31/8/25 The Largest Shoe Store on the Peninsula Bayside Shoes 103 Railway Parade, Seaford Ph 9785 1887 https://baysideshoewarehouse.com.au/ *excludes already marked down items & new arrivals. Instore only. @bayside_shoe_warehouse #midwintersale
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
8/9
🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱
@regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films 
#futurecouncil
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🚌🌱 Future Council is the new film from Director Damon Gameau - and it’s screening around Australia from late July. First up - a special tour with live Q&A panels and guest performances. 🎟️ Tickets for the tour are on sale now! 🎬Future Council will then be released in more cinemas from August 7 with a global tour to follow! 🌱 @regenerators @future__council @madmanfilms Madman Films #futurecouncil
2 weeks ago
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9/9
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