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Peninsula Kids
Home»Parenting Articles»When Crisis Comes Calling
Parenting Articles

When Crisis Comes Calling

Updated:July 8, 20255 Mins Read
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Nothing quite prepares you, as a parent, for the moment your child stops being able to hold it all together. The sudden collapse of the smile, the spark, the motivation. The moment when their pain no longer hides behind school routines and friendships, and instead spills into the home in the most heartbreaking of ways. And yet, stories like these are quietly unfolding in homes and schools everywhere.

We are raising young people in a world that’s louder, faster, and more complex than the one we grew up in—and they are struggling. We see it in the school refusal, the friendship breakdowns, the emotional outbursts, and the quiet disconnection. But often, by the time we see it, they’re already at breaking point.

As a mother, educator, and someone who has lived through this, I feel compelled to share what I’ve learned—not as an expert, but as someone who has sat on the kitchen floor with a child who didn’t want to be here anymore and had to figure out how to keep going.

What we’re missing

So much of what we label as “bad behaviour” is actually unspoken pain. Young people lash out, withdraw, or self-sabotage when they don’t have the words — or the space — to say what they’re really feeling. And more often than not, these behaviours are part of complex social dynamics that unfold beneath the surface.

I’ve seen this in classrooms and around dinner tables: the friend who turns on someone in the group, the child who justifies cruelty because of fear or loyalty, the student who bullies out of insecurity, and the child who becomes the target and doesn’t know how to make it stop.

The truth is that good kids can do harmful things when they’re emotionally overwhelmed or disconnected from themselves. And until we stop treating behaviour as the whole story, we will keep missing the chance to truly help them.

What can we do?

Over the past few years, through both personal experience and professional learning, I’ve come to believe that emotional education is the missing piece. Not just for students, but for the whole community around them.

Here are five things that make a real difference:

  1. Recognise that hurt people CAN hurt people
    Behaviour is often a mask for fear, shame, or insecurity. If we want to address what’s happening on the outside, we need to understand what’s happening within.
  2. Normalise mental health conversation
    Silence and secrecy create shame. When we speak openly about emotional struggles, we make it safer for young people to do the same.
  3. Teach the ‘why’ behind emotions
    Self-awareness isn’t fluffy; it’s foundational. When kids understand their own inner world, they’re better equipped to respond instead of react.
  4. Model accountability
    It’s not about being perfect but rather it’s about showing them how to repair. When adults own their missteps, young people learn it’s safe to grow from theirs.
  5. Use story to build empathy
    Every child has a story we don’t know. When we lead with curiosity instead of judgement, compassion becomes possible.

Support for the adults, too

What I’ve also learned is that this work isn’t just for young people, it’s for us, too. In parent sessions I now run, I’ve watched adults come to powerful realisations about the role they unknowingly play in their children’s emotional world. One father once said to me, “I thought I was supporting my son, but I realised I was just pushing my own fears onto him.” That kind of insight changes families.

Teachers and school staff, too, need tools that look beyond behaviour. Emotional intelligence frameworks like the SCARF model (which explores social triggers such as status, fairness, and connection) and the Iceberg Model (which looks beneath behaviour to the emotions, values, and unmet needs underneath) offer a lens that brings greater understanding and a more human approach to discipline and support.

A different future is possible

There’s no easy fix, but there is a better way forward; one grounded in awareness, empathy, and the courage to look inward as much as you look outward. If you’re a parent or educator navigating this terrain, I want you to know that you are not alone; there is no shame in struggle, and there is always room to grow. As for my daughter; she, like so many teenagers, is still figuring out who she is. But she’s still here, and for that, I am endlessly grateful.

I’ve since dedicated my work to emotional intelligence education, not just because it helped save our family, but because I believe it can change the culture of every school and every home that’s willing to do the work. “We’re all doing the best we know how, but when we know better, we can be better.”


Amanda Stokes is an educator, facilitator, and the founder of The Knowing Self – a program that supports emotional awareness, psychological safety, and stronger relationships across school communities. Her work draws from both professional experience and personal lessons learned the hard way. To learn more, visit www.theknowingself.com.au

As published in Peninsula Kids – Winter 2025

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30 Jun
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
30 Jun 25
Melbourne
Events on July 1, 2025
01 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
1 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 2, 2025
02 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
2 Jul 25
Melbourne
Soundwaves
Soundwaves
2 Jul 25
HMAS Cerberus
Events on July 3, 2025
03 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
3 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 4, 2025
04 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
4 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 5, 2025
05 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
5 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 6, 2025
06 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
6 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 7, 2025
07 Jul
Winter School Holidays at Sk8house
7 Jul 25
Carrum Downs
07 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
7 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 8, 2025
08 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
8 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 9, 2025
09 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
9 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 10, 2025
10 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
10 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 11, 2025
11 Jul
Rise Outdoors hike - Mount Martha to Mornington
11 Jul 25
11 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
11 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 12, 2025
12 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
12 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 13, 2025
13 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
13 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 14, 2025
14 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
14 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 15, 2025
15 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
15 Jul 25
Melbourne
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
Sk8house Sensory Sessions
15 Jul 25
Carrum Downs
Events on July 16, 2025
16 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
16 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 17, 2025
17 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
17 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 18, 2025
18 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
18 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 19, 2025
19 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
19 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 20, 2025
20 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
20 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 21, 2025
21 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
21 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 22, 2025
22 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
22 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 23, 2025
23 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
23 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 24, 2025
24 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
24 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 25, 2025
25 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
25 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 26, 2025
26 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
26 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 27, 2025
27 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
27 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 28, 2025
28 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
28 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 29, 2025
29 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
29 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 30, 2025
30 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
30 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on July 31, 2025
31 Jul
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
31 Jul 25
Melbourne
Events on August 1, 2025
01 Aug
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
1 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 2, 2025
02 Aug
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
2 Aug 25
Melbourne
Events on August 3, 2025
03 Aug
Dive into Immersive Adventure with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons at SEA LIFE Melbourne!
3 Aug 25
Melbourne

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Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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Instagram
No Food Shaming.

If you grew up in the ‘80s, ‘90s, or early 2000’s, chances are you were taught to see food through a moral lens: veggies were “good,” chocolate was “bad,” and fat was something to fear. That messaging stuck.

So now, when you reach for a bag of chips after a long day or say yes to dessert, a quiet voice in the back of your mind is likely to whisper: “You shouldn’t.” You feel like you’ve done something wrong – simply for eating something you enjoy. And here’s the thing: our kids are watching. They’re listening. The way we talk about food becomes the way they relate to it.

If you want to raise confident eaters, it’s time to let go of the “good” vs “bad” food narrative and allow your kids to enjoy food without guilt or shame. Let’s be real; some foods are more nutrient-dense than others. But that doesn’t mean that we need to rank them on a scale. Instead of calling food “good” or “bad”, try talking about how it fits into the bigger picture of what our bodies need. 

Read on for a few ways to reframe the conversation:
https://peninsulakids.com.au/no-food-shaming

@nourishwithkarina Nourish with Karina 

#nofoodshaming
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Follow
No Food Shaming. If you grew up in the ‘80s, ‘90s, or early 2000’s, chances are you were taught to see food through a moral lens: veggies were “good,” chocolate was “bad,” and fat was something to fear. That messaging stuck. So now, when you reach for a bag of chips after a long day or say yes to dessert, a quiet voice in the back of your mind is likely to whisper: “You shouldn’t.” You feel like you’ve done something wrong – simply for eating something you enjoy. And here’s the thing: our kids are watching. They’re listening. The way we talk about food becomes the way they relate to it. If you want to raise confident eaters, it’s time to let go of the “good” vs “bad” food narrative and allow your kids to enjoy food without guilt or shame. Let’s be real; some foods are more nutrient-dense than others. But that doesn’t mean that we need to rank them on a scale. Instead of calling food “good” or “bad”, try talking about how it fits into the bigger picture of what our bodies need. Read on for a few ways to reframe the conversation: https://peninsulakids.com.au/no-food-shaming @nourishwithkarina Nourish with Karina #nofoodshaming
1 day ago
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1/9
🤪#bloodyrightitis #strangerthings
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🤪#bloodyrightitis #strangerthings
2 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/9
Monday night funny. 
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lol

#thepenthouse #foodhierarchy
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Monday night funny. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣lol #thepenthouse #foodhierarchy
3 days ago
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3/9
#spiritanimal
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#spiritanimal
4 days ago
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4/9
Take my 13-year-old's money.

#moneyburningahole #theyllbuyanything #spendspendspend
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Take my 13-year-old's money. #moneyburningahole #theyllbuyanything #spendspendspend
6 days ago
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5/9
AT 94 years old, Frank Brown is living proof that creativity knows no age. A beloved gem to the community of Hastings, Frank has become an unlikely celebrity at FiRST Early Learning Hastings thanks to his handcrafted dioramas. 

Read the full story using the link:
https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/07/22/94-year-old-brings-tiny-world-magic-to-kids

#morningtonpeninsula #hastings #localcelebrity 
@firstearlylearning FiRST Early Learning 
Photo: Gary Sissons
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AT 94 years old, Frank Brown is living proof that creativity knows no age. A beloved gem to the community of Hastings, Frank has become an unlikely celebrity at FiRST Early Learning Hastings thanks to his handcrafted dioramas. Read the full story using the link: https://www.mpnews.com.au/2025/07/22/94-year-old-brings-tiny-world-magic-to-kids #morningtonpeninsula #hastings #localcelebrity @firstearlylearning FiRST Early Learning Photo: Gary Sissons
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
6/9
The Myth of the Perfect Parent
Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold this idea that good parenting means never messing up. That if we just try hard enough, read the right books, and avoid raising our voices, we’ll somehow unlock the secret to raising perfectly adjusted children. But here’s the truth which I finally accepted: there is no perfect way to parent. There are only good days and bad days. There are moments when you handle things beautifully and moments when you yell something ridiculous like, “WHY ARE YOUR SHOES IN THE FRIDGE?” There are times when you feel like a hero and times when you feel like a complete failure. And that’s okay.

https://peninsulakids.com.au/mumming-the-art-of-failing-and-why-thats-totally-fine/

@drunkmummysobermummy
•
Follow
The Myth of the Perfect Parent Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold this idea that good parenting means never messing up. That if we just try hard enough, read the right books, and avoid raising our voices, we’ll somehow unlock the secret to raising perfectly adjusted children. But here’s the truth which I finally accepted: there is no perfect way to parent. There are only good days and bad days. There are moments when you handle things beautifully and moments when you yell something ridiculous like, “WHY ARE YOUR SHOES IN THE FRIDGE?” There are times when you feel like a hero and times when you feel like a complete failure. And that’s okay. https://peninsulakids.com.au/mumming-the-art-of-failing-and-why-thats-totally-fine/ @drunkmummysobermummy
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Nothing quite prepares you, as a parent, for the moment your child stops being able to hold it all together. The sudden collapse of the smile, the spark, the motivation. The moment when their pain no longer hides behind school routines and friendships, and instead spills into the home in the most heartbreaking of ways. And yet, stories like these are quietly unfolding in homes and schools everywhere. 

Read more by copying link: peninsulakids.com.au/when-crisis-comes-calling

@theknowingself The Knowing Self 
#theknowingself
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Nothing quite prepares you, as a parent, for the moment your child stops being able to hold it all together. The sudden collapse of the smile, the spark, the motivation. The moment when their pain no longer hides behind school routines and friendships, and instead spills into the home in the most heartbreaking of ways. And yet, stories like these are quietly unfolding in homes and schools everywhere. Read more by copying link: peninsulakids.com.au/when-crisis-comes-calling @theknowingself The Knowing Self #theknowingself
1 week ago
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8/9
Yup. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Yup. 🤷🏻‍♀️
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
9/9
View on Instagram
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