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Peninsula Kids
Home»Pregnancy & Baby»Why your baby won’t let you lay him down
Pregnancy & Baby

Why your baby won’t let you lay him down

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By Yvette O’Dowd 

Have you ever held a young baby and touched the palm of their hand with the length of your finger? If that baby was neurologically typical, I’ll bet those little fingers tightly grasped hold of your finger like their life depended on it.

This action is known as the Palmar reflex and once, very long ago, the life of an infant did depend upon it working. You’ll see a similar response from those tiny toes if you tuck your finger underneath them too: they curl in an attempt to hold on.

The secret purpose of this reflex is revealed when you watch other primate mothers with their young: the Palmar reflex is how the infant holds on to its mother as she moves about the forest foraging for food, creating a night nest or following the nomadic pathway of the troop.

This vestigial reflex, remaining long after humans evolved to become (mostly) hairless has always fascinated me. Because it gives insight into the origins of baby carrying – crucial in a species born so incredibly immature as homo sapiens.

Evolution of Man as hunter-gather meant our males needed to become swift as they hunted prey large enough to meet the needs of their tribe. Running while covered in thick hair in hot climates such as what we now call Africa was not efficient, so over time, hair became shorter and finer: it aided evaporation of sweat, keeping the runner cool as he covered long distances. But the female also became increasingly hairless, posing quite a problem for mothers.

With dependent infants unable to walk for a full year after birth and not able to keep up with the nomadic tribe on foot for 3-4 years, a hairless female could no longer rely on the infant clinging to her chest or back. This forced her to use her hands and arms to support her young, making her unable to forage for or carry food.

It was not practical to lay the baby on the ground while she worked. She could cover a large area of ground as she collected seasonal fruits, tubers and other edible plants. Leaving her infant unattended put it at risk of predators seeking out the young and the weak. Attracting predators by crying put the whole tribe at risk. Additionally, the tribe travelled constantly, following the plants and animals which fed them, and the infants needed to be carried in some way.

It is very likely that one of the earliest tools created by Woman was a rudimentary baby carrier. By freeing her hands and allowing her to keep her baby close, she was able to go about her life, keeping her baby close at all times. The baby cried much less, if at all.

However, being able to securely hold her infant was only part of the story. She needed to be motivated to do so. It is hard work carrying a growing child, even in a carrier made from animal skins or plant materials. A mother would be tempted to put the baby down while she worked – but the risk of losing the infant to everything from carnivorous animals to swarming insects was too high. The investment in human children is great: it involves several years of intense maternal care before an infant grows to be a child able to work alongside the adults to support the community. Infant mortality is a great price to pay for indifferent parenting: so the maternal bond needed to be strong. She had to want to keep her baby close. She needed the cry of her infant to distress her and the touch of her baby to reassure and comfort her.

Traditional communities have kept babies close to their mothers day and night, through practices we now call babywearing and bed-sharing, as a survival technique. The mother is driven to protect her child, the child is driven to be close to the mother. And so the cry of a baby – ancient or modern – is a distress call. The mother responds quickly as stress hormones are released in her body, matching those of her baby. The cry is loud and urgent, and the mother instinctively holds the baby close, sshing and calming it to stop crying. Other females in the tribe are also driven to quieten and comfort the baby – while the males feel an urgent need for the child to be quiet and reduce the risk to the whole unit.

Our babies are born expecting to spend their days nestled against their mother, between her breasts in the early months, enabling the frequent feeds at the breast they need. Later, they are carried on her back as she rhythmically goes about her daily tasks. At night, they sleep in constant contact, side by side, with the breast accessible as needed.

Around the world, this is still how mothers and babies live. Except in the modern, post-industrial cities we call the “developed world”.

Our poor “stone-age babies in a space-age world” , as the wonderful Dr James McKenna describes them, still want to spend all day in an upright position nestled directly between the mother’s breasts, never laid on their backs, never away from body contact. But their conflicted space-age mothers in a stone-age body are urged to put the baby aside for the bulk of their day so they can do other things, and despair the baby who cries in distress whenever laid in his bed, whether awake or in a light sleep, and spends most of her time fruitlessly trying to do so.

Because society might have evolved but humanity has not.


Yvette O’Dowd probably isn’t your typical grandmother. This purple-haired mother of three and granny of one has been a breastfeeding counsellor for more than 20 years, runs breastfeeding education classes for parents expecting twins and more, facilitates local babywearing and natural parenting groups and writes for a popular parenting website.

Yvette lives in her Frankston home with her husband and son. Her daughters and their families live nearby. In her spare time, Yvette is a keen photographer and scrapbooker and is keeper of a fairy garden.

You can follow Yvette at
www.bellybelly.com.au/author/yvette-odowd
www.facebook.com/groups/SouthernNaturalParentingNetwork
www.facebook.com/groups/SouthEasternBabywearing

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Hastings
Events on October 12, 2024
12 Oct
Rosebud Community School Market
12 Oct 24
Rosebud
12 Oct
Crib Point Community Market
12 Oct 24
Crib Point
AFLW - Hawthorn v West Coast Eagles
AFLW - Hawthorn v West Coast Eagles
12 Oct 24
Events on October 13, 2024
13 Oct
Bittern Sunday Market
13 Oct 24
Bittern
Mornington Racecourse Market
Mornington Racecourse Market
13 Oct 24
Mornington
Frankie\'s Birthday Celebration at McClelland
Frankie\'s Birthday Celebration at McClelland
13 Oct 24
Langwarrin
Events on October 15, 2024
Exploring Art For Kids
Exploring Art For Kids
15 Oct 24
Somerville
Events on October 16, 2024
Mornington Main Street Market
Mornington Main Street Market
16 Oct 24
Mornington
Events on October 17, 2024
17 Oct
Hastings Street Market
17 Oct 24
Hastings
Events on October 19, 2024
19 Oct
Boneo Community Market
19 Oct 24
Boneo
19 Oct
Pearcedale Market
19 Oct 24
Pearcedale
AFLW - Hawthorn v GWS
AFLW - Hawthorn v GWS
19 Oct 24
Frankston
Events on October 20, 2024
20 Oct
Bittern Sunday Market
20 Oct 24
Bittern
20 Oct
Monthly Repair Workshop
20 Oct 24
HASTINGS
Events on October 22, 2024
Exploring Art For Kids
Exploring Art For Kids
22 Oct 24
Somerville
Events on October 23, 2024
Mornington Main Street Market
Mornington Main Street Market
23 Oct 24
Mornington
Events on October 24, 2024
24 Oct
Hastings Street Market
24 Oct 24
Hastings
Events on October 26, 2024
26 Oct
Dromana Community Market
26 Oct 24
Dromana
Events on October 27, 2024
27 Oct
Bittern Sunday Market
27 Oct 24
Bittern
27 Oct
Mount Eliza Farmers' Market
27 Oct 24
Mt Eliza
Events on October 29, 2024
Exploring Art For Kids
Exploring Art For Kids
29 Oct 24
Somerville
Events on October 30, 2024
Mornington Main Street Market
Mornington Main Street Market
30 Oct 24
Mornington
Events on October 31, 2024
31 Oct
Hastings Street Market
31 Oct 24
Hastings
Events on November 2, 2024
02 Nov
Rye Foreshore Market
2 Nov 24
Rye
Events on November 3, 2024
03 Nov
Bittern Sunday Market
3 Nov 24
Bittern
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ABOUT

Established in 2006, Mornington Peninsula News Group (MPNG) is a locally owned and operated, independent media company.

MPNG publishes two glossy magazines: Peninsula Essence and Peninsula Kids.

MPNG also publishes five weekly community newspapers: the Western Port News, Mornington News, Southern Peninsula News, Frankston Times and Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News.

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Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

LEGO Brick Like This!
The LEGO® Group and Asmodee, a leading entertainment company specialising in tabletop games, have announced their second jointly-crafted board game. LEGO® Brick Like This! is a fun family party game where teams race to finish their LEGO® models. One teammate describes a LEGO® model while the other teammate builds it. Communication and collaboration are key in this fun and fast-talking LEGO® building party game!

Work together in pairs to build your LEGO® model first! Can you build with your eyes closed? With one hand? How about talking without being able to say numbers or colors? No two games will be the same.

Designed for ages 8+ (and perfect for creative adults too) and available from EB Games: RRP: $40.00.

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER HERE:
https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LEGO Brick Like This! The LEGO® Group and Asmodee, a leading entertainment company specialising in tabletop games, have announced their second jointly-crafted board game. LEGO® Brick Like This! is a fun family party game where teams race to finish their LEGO® models. One teammate describes a LEGO® model while the other teammate builds it. Communication and collaboration are key in this fun and fast-talking LEGO® building party game! Work together in pairs to build your LEGO® model first! Can you build with your eyes closed? With one hand? How about talking without being able to say numbers or colors? No two games will be the same. Designed for ages 8+ (and perfect for creative adults too) and available from EB Games: RRP: $40.00. **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
14 hours ago
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1/9
Need a super fun activity to keep the kids active and off screens these school holidays? 
Acro Kids full day programs in Mornington and Braeside are the ticket. 
Kids will learn wicked acro and parkour skills and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/

@acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
•
Follow
Need a super fun activity to keep the kids active and off screens these school holidays? Acro Kids full day programs in Mornington and Braeside are the ticket. Kids will learn wicked acro and parkour skills and make heaps of new friends. Don’t miss out on the fun (and some time to yourself) book now to avoid disappointment – https://www.acrokids.com.au/school-holiday-program/ @acrokidsau #schoolholidays #springschoolholidays
3 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

Mambo Australia Family Pack
The Ultimate Family Spring Giveaway with Mambo!
From bold-printed suitcases and insulated lunch boxes to roomy backpacks, comfy sandals and playful sunnies, this capsule has everything the family needs for their next holiday. Designed for boys and girls, with the apparel ranging in sizes 7-16 and footwear available in sizes 13-6, perfect for packing light and dressing right from head to toe.

The prize pack will include the following for the winning family: 2 x each – backpacks (kids), water bottles (kids), lunch boxes (kids), pencil cases (kids), overnight bags (adult), hats (adult), beanies (adult), stubby holders (adult) valued at over $300. Selected products available from Big W.
@mamboaustralia

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER HERE:
https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Mambo Australia Family Pack The Ultimate Family Spring Giveaway with Mambo! From bold-printed suitcases and insulated lunch boxes to roomy backpacks, comfy sandals and playful sunnies, this capsule has everything the family needs for their next holiday. Designed for boys and girls, with the apparel ranging in sizes 7-16 and footwear available in sizes 13-6, perfect for packing light and dressing right from head to toe. The prize pack will include the following for the winning family: 2 x each – backpacks (kids), water bottles (kids), lunch boxes (kids), pencil cases (kids), overnight bags (adult), hats (adult), beanies (adult), stubby holders (adult) valued at over $300. Selected products available from Big W. @mamboaustralia **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER HERE: https://peninsulakids.com.au/spring-2025-things-we-love-giveaway/
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

Plonkit
The Plonkit solves an age-old Aussie problem – where to safely and conveniently “plonk” down your belongings when you’re outside. Made from recyclable plexiglass materials, it easily and securely connects to a glass fence, providing a sturdy place to plonk down all the essentials – drinks, sunnies, phones, snacks, speaker, sunscreen – with no worries.

Functional and stylish, Plonkit helps you make the most of your balcony.

Plonkit Balcony Table for framed glass fence RRP $199.00, with free shipping Australia-wide.

https://plonkit.com.au/
@plonk.it

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? Plonkit The Plonkit solves an age-old Aussie problem – where to safely and conveniently “plonk” down your belongings when you’re outside. Made from recyclable plexiglass materials, it easily and securely connects to a glass fence, providing a sturdy place to plonk down all the essentials – drinks, sunnies, phones, snacks, speaker, sunscreen – with no worries. Functional and stylish, Plonkit helps you make the most of your balcony. Plonkit Balcony Table for framed glass fence RRP $199.00, with free shipping Australia-wide. https://plonkit.com.au/ @plonk.it **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
4/9
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? 

LeapFrog LeapMOVE
This one-of-a-kind gaming system combines education and entertainment with movement like never before, blending learning with motion via full-body gameplay!
https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home

**PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office.  Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!**

👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
•
Follow
Have you seen our spring Things We Love giveaways in the winter edition of Peninsula Kids mag? LeapFrog LeapMOVE This one-of-a-kind gaming system combines education and entertainment with movement like never before, blending learning with motion via full-body gameplay! https://www.leapfrog.com/en-au/home **PLEASE NOTE ALL prizes must be collected from Peninsula Kids HASTINGS office. Winners will be notified by email. Please only enter if you can collect and make sure details are entered correctly so you don’t miss out!** 👉ENTER VIA LINK IN PROFILE.
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
5/9
😂😂..go on, Dad. 🆗💻
•
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😂😂..go on, Dad. 🆗💻
7 days ago
View on Instagram |
6/9
Sk8house Holiday Sk8 Club is the place to be this school holidays! Learn to skate with expert instructors on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10am to 11am. 

Then, after the class, practise all your sweet moves at the General Session from 11am to 4pm. 

Learn, practice, and play – with 24 hours worth of skating for just $78! That's a saving of up to $78 per person and works out to less than $4 per hour. 

Find out more: https://www.sk8house.com.au/

@sk8houseau
•
Follow
Sk8house Holiday Sk8 Club is the place to be this school holidays! Learn to skate with expert instructors on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10am to 11am. Then, after the class, practise all your sweet moves at the General Session from 11am to 4pm. Learn, practice, and play – with 24 hours worth of skating for just $78! That's a saving of up to $78 per person and works out to less than $4 per hour. Find out more: https://www.sk8house.com.au/ @sk8houseau
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
7/9
Um, um, um…😳
Like, 😵‍💫😩🥴😔
Have you watched? 
No spoilers!

#unknownnumber
•
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Um, um, um…😳 Like, 😵‍💫😩🥴😔 Have you watched? No spoilers! #unknownnumber
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
8/9
📢 Mt Eliza Grasshoppers Will Be Taking Bookings for Tours from 1pm Thursday

We are so excited to announce that our brand-new architecturally designed Little Grasshoppers centre in Mt Eliza will be opening its doors for tours.

With state-of-the-art learning environments for children aged 6 weeks through to school years, this purpose-built centre combines over 30 years of trusted experience with the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators.

✨ Limited to just 100 places, our new centre brings together generations of knowledge and a passion for nurturing children in our community — proudly locally owned and operated since 1991.

Tours will commence from Monday 8th September at 9am.

📞 Book through our website from 1pm this Thursday to secure your tour date & time https://www.littlegrasshoppers.com.au
OR
Phone: 03 5978 0808 | info@littlegrasshoppers.com.au

#littlegrasshoppers @little_grasshoppers1991
📢 Mt Eliza Grasshoppers Will Be Taking Bookings for Tours from 1pm Thursday

We are so excited to announce that our brand-new architecturally designed Little Grasshoppers centre in Mt Eliza will be opening its doors for tours.

With state-of-the-art learning environments for children aged 6 weeks through to school years, this purpose-built centre combines over 30 years of trusted experience with the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators.

✨ Limited to just 100 places, our new centre brings together generations of knowledge and a passion for nurturing children in our community — proudly locally owned and operated since 1991.

Tours will commence from Monday 8th September at 9am.

📞 Book through our website from 1pm this Thursday to secure your tour date & time https://www.littlegrasshoppers.com.au
OR
Phone: 03 5978 0808 | info@littlegrasshoppers.com.au

#littlegrasshoppers @little_grasshoppers1991
📢 Mt Eliza Grasshoppers Will Be Taking Bookings for Tours from 1pm Thursday

We are so excited to announce that our brand-new architecturally designed Little Grasshoppers centre in Mt Eliza will be opening its doors for tours.

With state-of-the-art learning environments for children aged 6 weeks through to school years, this purpose-built centre combines over 30 years of trusted experience with the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators.

✨ Limited to just 100 places, our new centre brings together generations of knowledge and a passion for nurturing children in our community — proudly locally owned and operated since 1991.

Tours will commence from Monday 8th September at 9am.

📞 Book through our website from 1pm this Thursday to secure your tour date & time https://www.littlegrasshoppers.com.au
OR
Phone: 03 5978 0808 | info@littlegrasshoppers.com.au

#littlegrasshoppers @little_grasshoppers1991
•
Follow
📢 Mt Eliza Grasshoppers Will Be Taking Bookings for Tours from 1pm Thursday We are so excited to announce that our brand-new architecturally designed Little Grasshoppers centre in Mt Eliza will be opening its doors for tours. With state-of-the-art learning environments for children aged 6 weeks through to school years, this purpose-built centre combines over 30 years of trusted experience with the Peninsula’s most dedicated educators. ✨ Limited to just 100 places, our new centre brings together generations of knowledge and a passion for nurturing children in our community — proudly locally owned and operated since 1991. Tours will commence from Monday 8th September at 9am. 📞 Book through our website from 1pm this Thursday to secure your tour date & time https://www.littlegrasshoppers.com.au OR Phone: 03 5978 0808 | info@littlegrasshoppers.com.au #littlegrasshoppers @little_grasshoppers1991
2 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
9/9
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